WELCOME, FOOLISH MORTALS, to the Haunted Night Thread. I am your host, your ghost host. Kindly step all the way in please, and make room for everyone. There’s no turning back now. Our tour begins here in this gallery, where you see paintings of some of our posters as they appeared in their corruptible, mortal state.
Your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding, almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis. Is this haunted header actually stretching? Or is it your imagination — hmm? And consider this dismaying observation: this page has no buttons and no links… which offers you this chilling challenge: to find a way out! HAAAAHAHAHAHahahahahaaaaa….
Of course, there’s always my way.
Oh, I didn’t mean to frighten you prematurely. The real chills come later. Now, as they say, “look alive,” and we’ll continue our little tour. And let’s all stay together, please.
Our library is well-stocked with priceless firstie editions — only those that got CancerAIDS, of course — and marble busts of the greatest post writers the internet world has ever known. They have all retired here, to the Haunted Night Thread.
Actually, we have 999 shitposters here. But there’s room for 1,000. Any volunteers? If you should decide to join us, final arrangements may be made at the end of the tour.
We find it delightfully unlivable here in this ghostly retreat. Every room has wall-to-wall meme spirals, and hot and cold running takes. Shhh, listen!
Pluggers and Heathcliff, Sluggo is Lit
Keep posting comics that nobody gets!
Marvel and Star Wars, both quite in demand;
Undying topics kept ever at hand!
A typo, a sentence; whatever’s around
Watch as it’s driven straight into the ground!
Ah, there you are! And just in time… there’s a little matter I forgot to mention — beware of hitchhiking shitposts! They have selected you to fill our quota, and they’ll haunt you until you return!
Now I will raise the safety bar, and a shitpost will follow you home!