The Leftorium Stands Up for the Sanctity of Access Journalism!

Last weekend, the White House Correspondents Association convened on the Washington Hilton for their annual dinner. Michelle Wolf, the invited comedian, told a few jokes, roasting both the press and the administration, both the political right wing and the left. As much as we’ve become accustomed to the unfortunate reality of the press acting as willing lapdogs for this current administration and administrations past, I don’t think anyone could’ve predicted the utter lack of self-awareness  they would exhibit over the last few days in effort to protect their precious access to Trump and his cabinet. Make no mistake, the faux-outrage many within elite white house journalist circles have displayed has very little to do with empathy for Sarah Sanders and almost everything to do with anticipated threats from the administration of having their press passes yanked and bruised egos from having some relative unknown stand in front of them and pin the success of Trump’s presidential campaign at their feet, rather than make a few groan-inducing jokes about Trump being Putin’s bitch. So Michelle Wolf was roundly thrown under the bus – not for punching down (which she didn’t do) but for punching up and in the ‘wrong’ direction and yes, in case you were wondering, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the person who stands in front of them everyday and lies to their faces, stands right next to the WHCA as being the wrong fucking direction. And Mika Brzezinski and Maggie Haberman et al are going to prove it to you by showing just how little they understand what look-shaming actually is. Or perhaps they do and they have spent the last few days being willfully daft about it on twitter because they’ve seen how easily conservatives are able to twist that concept whenever it suits them and have decided, hey, we in the media can do that too! But not to digress. The real reason for the outrage is that the MSM value access a lot more than they do telling the actual truth about the people they cover.

Here you’ll find a better articulated assessment of what Michelle Wolf actually did; and what she does.

IN DISAPPOINTINGLY RELATED NEWS:

Andrea Mitchell, Rachel Maddow, and Mika Brzezinski among others employed by MSNBC would also like you to know just how little they understand sexual harassment. With allegations coming to light about Tom Brokaw’s history of sexual misconduct, the trio joined 65 of Brokaw’s former female colleagues in signing a letter essentially implying that their positive experiences with the veteran newsman be taken into account when deciding whether or not to believe the allegations. Because the way sexual harassment works is that every harasser, much like a rabid drug fiend, is completely incapable of respecting the boundaries of anyone they come in contact with. Every harasser is Weinstein-level prolific.

In doubly disappointingly related news, these three continue to be employed on a network apparently bent on pretending Joy Reid, alleged journalist, didn’t lie about her blog posts being altered by time-traveling hackers.

IN PEOPLE WHO SHOULD GET THE GUILLOTINE NEWS

Jeff Bezos, billionaire-laureate of the resistance, is having a hard time figuring out how to spend his billions in “winnings” and so has decided space is the place. Which, to be fair, would be perfectly fine if workers in his factories weren’t being subjected to sub-human working conditions while he has 24+ bathrooms installed in his mansion. Or while his company paid zero in taxes last year. By the way, pointing out how little Amazon paid in taxes last year is Trumpian propaganda and and caring about the working conditions of Amazon employees makes you a useful tool of the Trump administration.

Relatedly, Elon Musk’s Tesla thing is apparently burning through more money than it is raising. Thoughts and Prayers.

IN OTHER NEWS:

Bipartisanship, baby! New Bipartisan Bill Could Give Any President The Power To Imprison U.S. Citizen In Military Detention Forever

Bernie Sanders, as you all well know, IS NOT EVEN A DEMOCRAT. But former Bush ethics lawyer Richard Painter? Welcome to the Resistance… and to Al Franken’s former senate seat; which is currently being held by actual democrat Tina Smith. I’m guessing she isn’t resistancy enough?

Jeff Weaver, Bernie Sanders’ 2016 campaign manager is releasing a book titled “How Bernie Won” and Vice has an excerpt up for anyone interested: Excerpt!

Here’s a thing about how Hillary Clinton’s finger-pointing is beginning to grate on upcoming democratic hopefuls.

Kanye West has discovered free thought and is literally just a few publicized DMs from Kyrie Irving away from becoming a flat-earther.

IN INTERNATIONAL NEWS:

Netanyahu is pushing for war with Iran and he has powerpoints!

Finally, happy belated May Day!