Uvular can’t come to the WPT header this weekend because paid work leaves him too busy to devote 300-plus words to explaining why Special Counsel Robert Mueller handing down an eight-count indictment against Russian election hackers has firmly implanted Starbuck’s “Moonlight Feels Right” in his brain.*

Until he returns, Uvular invites you to plug in the real-life events that make the lyrics to Soul Asylum’s “Beggars and Choosers” read like a biography of Donald Trump.

♫ Right before the aftermath, I saw where it would end.
They said it was an accident, I guess that all depends
On who you talk to and who you know,
And where you come from and where, where you go.

In your crowd of pushers and users, takers and losers,
Beggars and beggars and beggars and choosers.

Your childhood days are over as you stuff your shirt and say
Made a choice it’s wrong or right, it’s this way I will stay.
You’ll sell it to your children, you’ll sell it to your wife.
Buying is your business, and selling is your life, It’s your life.

In your crowd of pushers and users, takers and losers,
Beggars and beggars and beggars and choosers.

The vultures are all circling around your withered brow
Scavengers, Evangelists will get to you somehow.
Your mother and your ex-best friend, letters that you never send.
Your illegitimate children are coming for you now.

They’re always dragging you down, it’s looking like a showdown,
Between revenge and the ends you can’t defend.

Can you try to imagine, a story that has no end?
I think you better steal it while you still understand it,
And sell it to one of your friends. ♫

++++

*Short answer: “Indict” rhymes with “moonlight.” See.

No, you need a hobby that gets you out of the house more.