Here Are the New Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Paramount has recently revealed what the characters will look like in Nickelodeon’s upcoming Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, a reboot which is being launched less than a year after the last series wrapped itself up. Many were wondering why such a strange decision was made, with speculation that the family-friendly cable channel was getting “uncomfortable” with how violent the 2012 show had gotten, to the point where the final episodes were aired on NickToons instead (there were similar rumors surrounding The Legend of Korra back in the day). The buzz was that Rise would be “different” than previous incarnations of the fab four, and judging by these first promotional images…well, it appears they’ve at least tackled “different” alright…

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Here we’ve got Raph, who takes the position of leader of the pack in this version. Raph is “the oldest of the turtles” and the other ninjas “all respect him.” He also has a bandage on his shell, which wouldn’t by any means take care of a wound he has there. It’s hard to know if he’ll be as hot-headed as he usually is here, and what kind of weapons is he holding anyway? They look like action-figure weapons which are inserted into the fists via a peg.

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Leo, meanwhile, seen here with one sword instead of two, is normally the figure of responsibility among his brothers, but now he’s said to be “fun-loving and laid-back” and is “the self-proclaimed coolest turtle.” Yeah. Also, look at those feet!

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Here we have Donnie, who is reported to be “more confident” than he has been in the past (whatever that means). Of all of the characters, he does appear to be the most “traditional” in terms of turtle lore.

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Rounding out the turtles, we have Mikey, who is apparently a big fan of The Comedian from Watchmen given the smiley faces on his knee-pads…which he’s wearing even though he’s not seen on a skateboard here.

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Now we have April. While the wrong people on the internet will be complaining about her race (even though she was black in the original comics), I’m simply wondering why the hell she apparently has a haunted baseball bat at her disposal.

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Finally, we have Master Splinter, who looks like Master Shifu from the Kung Fu Panda movies if he was somehow spawned by Samurai Jack’s splooge. He’s also much “smaller” (not a penis joke…or is it?) than we’re used to seeing him, so maybe he fights like Yoda…which would be kinda cool, actually.

All in all, the Turtles look more “extreme” here, in the same vein of many reboots that were made during the 90’s and early 00’s, some of which have pretty controversial reputations today (seriously, did anyone watch Loonatics? And was it any good?). Many were probably hoping that the new series would be more similar to the 1987 visually, and this certainly looks “weird,” at least for the time being. Still, fingers are crossed that the reboot is ultimately radical and bodacious.

Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is set to premiere on Nick this September.