Ten years ago today, I was in the first few weeks of my second semester at community college. The Oscar nominations had been announced that morning, and was usually the case for me, that had been the subject of most of the conversations I had that day. A notable event for me was that this would be the very first time I would see all five nominations for Best Picture in theaters before the Oscar ceremony, which was something I was a little buzzed about.

Then less than an hour before class, in all capital letters, I read a headline on ComingSoon’s main page: “HEATH LEDGER FOUND DEAD IN APARTMENT.”

Like everyone else, I felt shock. But I felt more than that. Even though I had seen Ledger in only two movies at that time (Brokeback Mountain and The Brothers Grimm, for anyone who’s curious), I began crying. Like crying publicly in front of my laptop in the dining area of my school. The news hit others I knew as well. One friend of mine told me she had fainted upon hearing about it.

There were a number of reasons the story became so sensational. There was Ledger’s youth. He was only 28. Then there was the “tabloid” aspect, with many of the lesser of entertainment websites quick to prematurely say that Ledger had probably killed himself. But the biggest aspect of it all may have been that Ledger had been everywhere in the trailers for The Dark Knight, which Warner Bros. quickly halted all marketing for as they scrambled to find a way to rethink their Joker-centric campaign.

In the newspapers the next day, where articles about the Oscar nominations would’ve normally been, Ledger’s obituary–which was published all too soon–was to be found. Ledger would fittingly be the last actor featured during the “In Memoriom” tribute during the Academy Awards weeks later, but the sting of his death lasted long after that.

I can think of only a handful of celebrity passings that have had the emotional impact on me that Ledger’s did, with the others being Paul Walker and Robin Williams, both of which being ones I can still get sad about. Anton Yelchin’s would be another, but in that case his premature demise was such a blow to me that I’m still not fully ready to talk about it.

Celebrity deaths are a weird thing. They are the only deaths we all collectively experience together, and they also have a way of making us all feel more mortal. In Ledger’s case, though, we saw something else: the possibility of a cinematic afterlife, as his most iconic role of all time in The Dark Knight would not only define his career, but superhero culture on a massive level. Ledger may have been gone, but his demented creation would live a life of his own.

Where were you when Heath Ledger died? Do you have a favorite Heath Ledger role? What impact did his death have on you?

R.I.P. Heath Ledger