Ugh. I signed up for two headers today and missed the first one. Ugh. I think I was going to do one of those “two headers that go together” sort of things? Well, that’s ruined now. Ugh.

Anyway, Strappy is a friendly talking backpack from the new horror comedy sensation Buddy. Unlike the titular thicc unicorn, Strappy has a kind heart and cares about his child companions. He spends almost all of his time with Freddy, his best friend who regularly wears him on her back. Strappy isn’t the sharpest tool in Buddy’s toolshed (that would be Buddy’s trusty axe, which he loves using on people who annoy him), and isn’t very good at keeping his zipper mouth shut when he needs to. He is voiced by Patton Oswalt.

Buddy is rather disingenuously being framed by the press as a “hate letter to Barney“–except that it isn’t really. The movie takes inspiration from many beloved children’s shows, with Strappy rather obviously taking a cue from Backpack on Dora the Explorer. Backpack, of course, was an abomination to nature who loved releasing items from his brain and then immediately devouring whichever ones his master didn’t need. Fucking freak. Also you probably forgot that series took place inside of a fucking PC game (at least during the first season? I’m not fully up to date on my Dora lore). Does this make Dora a video game heroine? Could she have a cameo in Wreck-It Ralph 3? I dunno. What I’m saying is Strappy is cooler than Backpack. Fucking freak.

Have the power tonight, y’all! Be safe, be well, be you!