Colin Firth plays the neurotic owner of a cinema in Buenos Aires. He takes in a handsome American flat mate (Hart Bochner) and quickly becomes obsessed. The men begin a dangerous game. Martin Donovan co-wrote and directed Apartment Zero. The screenplay pays tribute to the homoerotic thrillers of Patricia Highsmith. Sloppy direction keeps the film from reaching its full potential. Scenes drag and grow repetitive. Firth should slowly unravel. Instead he’s bonkers from minute one.
Learn more in my spoiler filled recap.
Stranger In a Flat
Scene One: A flat in Buenos Aires
COLIN FIRTH (twitchy): T-t-thank you for taking the room. I’ve been l-l-lonely.
JACK (An American stud in a leather jacket): No prob. Why all the movie posters?
FIRTH: I own a c-c-cinema. Do you l-l-like movies?
JACK: Do you like girls?
FIRTH: “No, I don’t like girls…………… I like women.”
JACK: Sure, Jan.
(They go on a series of movie dates.)
Scene Two: Colin Firth’s cinema
ACTIVIST FRIEND: I’m hunting the foreign mercenaries who worked for Argentina’s military dictators. Have you met any mysterious Americans lately?
FIRTH: Nope.
Scene Three: The flat
FIRTH: STOP T-T-TALKING TO OUR NEIGHBORS! THEY’RE TERRIBLE!
JACK: They’re comic relief. I’ve hooked up with half of them.
FIRTH: I DON’T WANT TO S-S-SHARE YOU! WHO ARE YOU EXACTLY?
JACK: “I’m whoever you want me to be.”
FIRTH: “If that is a mask, please take it off now, or keep it on forever.”
Scene Four: The apartment complex
NEIGHBORS: Jack’s gone missing! We think Colin Firth killed him!
(They beat up Colin Firth. Jack returns.)
NEIGHBORS: Whoopsie. Our bad.
Scene Five: The flat
ACTIVIST FRIEND: Someone’s been murdering politicians all over town. You wouldn’t know anything about that?
(Jack murders the Activist Friend. Firth comes home.)
FIRTH: Jack!?
JACK: Hey baby. You’re my best friend. I love you so much. Will you help me hide her body? Then I’ll put the mask back on.
FIRTH: … Yes.
Scene Six: Later that Night
FIRTH: I feel remorse.
(Firth grabs Jack’s gun. Jack tackles him.)
JACK: I can’t kill you! I love you too much!
FIRTH: Does this mean we’ll finally kiss?
JACK: No. It means I’ll let you shoot me. (Bang.)
Epilogue
FIRTH: I told the neighbors you moved to California. Pity about the smell. Have a drink.
(He’s talking to Jack’s corpse. Firth puts on Jack’s leather jacket. Then stares at the camera.)
FIRTH: How do I look?
THE END
The Talented Mr. Firth
Hilariously awful ~ Vincent Canby, New York Times
Most of this recap covers the film’s last quarter. Jack spends the first 90 minutes seducing Colin and five of his neighbors. A tighter screenplay would have cut a few out. But pairing Jack with women, men and a trans woman establishes his pansexual charm. Why does an undercover mercenary form so many relationships? To establish alibis? Perhaps he’s lonely.
It’s refreshing to see a trans woman in an 80’s thriller who doesn’t die. Though she suffers insults and abuse from everyone other than Jack. Pedro Almodovar was already writing more progressive trans characters.
It’s only been a few years since Argentina’s junta fell. Yet only one named character discusses politics. The rest are either traumatized or protected by their class. Jack himself only discusses his profession briefly near the end.
A subplot for Firth’s unstable mother provides some context for his idiosyncrasies. It also pays a nod to Norman Bates. Though Bates could pass for sane in short bursts. Firth is always at eleven. Bochner gives a quieter performance, holding back his mania till the final scenes. I suspect Donovan’s direction is to blame. Firth’s been subtle elsewhere. A two-hour film had time to add more complexity to his character. If Donovan just wanted a campy B-movie, he could have told this story in 90 minutes.
You can read more of my reviews on The Avocado, Letterboxd and Serializd. My podcast, Rainbow Colored Glasses, can be found here.