Dave Barry Slept Here: A Sort of History of the United States is a condensed telling of U.S. history, published in 1989, with lots of the Miami Herald columnist’s signature humor packed in. It was a highly formative piece of humorist writing for young Roundy, and this paperback got passed back and forth between me and several friends in high school.

A sample passage that often appears in blurbs and is pretty representative of the whole thing: “What caused the American Revolution? This is indeed a rhetorical question that for many years historians have begun chapters with. As well they should. For the American Revolution is without a doubt the single most important historical event to occur in this nation except of course for Super Bowl III (Jets 16. Colts 7. This historian won $35).”

Anyway, the reason I gave it this particular night thread is because, in order to simplify and eliminate the need to remember dates, Barry just makes everything happen on October 8, his son’s birthday. It really does save a lot of hassle just to have everything important happen on the one day.

Barry is 78 years old, and did not start looking even remotely elderly until like the last year or two. He currently runs a Substack, which is strike one, and the header image on it is AI art, which is strike two. That probably means strike three isn’t too far behind—in fact, it’s probably out there somewhere already—but I really do not need this from you right now, Dave.

Have a good night, Avocados, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.