The Adventures of Superpup is a very stupid unaired TV pilot based off a very stupid idea which somehow made its way from drunken studio pitch-to-screen. Following the shocking death of Superman star George Reeves, producers were trying to come up with a tasteful way to continue the franchise on small screens, until someone said “hey, what if we just made them all dogs?” And then someone else, against all odds, said “GENIUS! That sounds fantastic! I’ll give you a couple of bucks to shoot it!” And the rest, as they say, is history.

Filmed on the same sets used for Superman to save on resources and money, The Adventures of Superpup featured a cast of little people in dog costumes which could only sort of kind of sometimes move their mouths when they talked. While they were shooting, voice actors off-screen read all of the hilarious lines, and I have no idea why they didn’t just dub it later, since this meant the dialogue often wasn’t even remotely in-sync with what the dogs were supposed to be saying or doing.

Our “hero” is “Bark Bent” (ugh) who is of course also Superpup, and he’s just like Superman if Superman was an idiot who was always nearly revealing his secret identity to everyone around him. He works for The Daily Bugle (this was before Spider-Man even existed, kids), and his boss is a bulldog named Terry Bite (okay, that one is pretty funny. You win this round, Superpup!). Terry Bite is very grouchy but also finds everything around him hilarious, often at the same time. He will belittle Bark Bent for worrying too much while laughing about it seconds later, and he will stand on his desk, because he’s professional that way. What I’m saying is Perry Bite is by far the best thing about this thing. If the pitch had been The Adventures of Perry Bite, it would’ve lasted six seasons, two movies, and currently have a cheaply animated nostalgia reboot on Max HBO Max.

There are also characters who don’t have Superman-puns for names, including the evil “Professor Sheep Dip,” who…I’m sorry, what? What kind of a fucking name is that? Professor SHEEP DIP?? Is this meant to be a joke? If so, what is the joke? I mean, I even Googled “Sheep Dip” and it’s apparently “a liquid formulation of insecticide and fungicide that shepherds and farmers use to protect their sheep from infestation.” So…is he called that because he’s a sheepdog? Anyway, “Professor Sheep Dip” has recently been put in jail for dog crimes, but he escapes immediately, and he kidnaps “Pamela Poodle,” which isn’t even a funny name, it’s just a poodle named “Pamela.” It’s up to Superpup to save the day! Twice! Over the span of one TV pilot!

Now for a long time, The Adventures of Superpup was what folks online would’ve called “lost media.” VHS copies of it managed to find their way to some comic conventions, but they were incredibly rare. Think of it as The Star Wars Holiday Special of Superman content, except this one actually got an official home video release. Kind of. Available as an extra on the Superman Ultimate Collector’s Edition DVD set, it featured the only surviving color footage from the pilot, with the remainder being in black-and-white. It runs for 22 minutes (which is way too long for this kind of shit if you’re alone and/or sober), but for whatever reason isn’t on YouTube in its entirety. I kind of doubt this is due to Warner Bros. caring enough to copyright strike it and more because no one has bothered to upload it there, but it is on the Internet Archive for those who wish to experience it outside of some loopy clips posted out of context. You’re welcome?

Have a SUPER night, y’all!