Evil Recapped – How to Build a Coffin

Interesting that last week IMDB showed this episode title as “How to Grieve”. Anyway, we open on Leland’s sleep being interrupted by a crying bebe. Yeah, that’s my nightmare too, Leland. This baby has a mobile with zombies, devils, and witches because he’s EVIL. On a Zoom call he gets a good zinger in against Twitter and Elon Musk but then gets barfed on by the Antichrist.

Sister Andrea! She and the other nuns are being lectured about doing more chores for the church and she rightfully rolls her eyes. In the laundry room, she notices several of the priest’s robes have giant holes in them.

We cut to a very badly produced news story about a red-carpet event. The announcer is just saying random words and the team is trying to figure out why. I wonder if this guy had a script or was just told to actually say random words? The reporter’s wife would like him to receive a placebo exorcism. Ben’s Djinn is horny for Kristen because everyone in this show is. And now the whole team is losing their words. This better not be a Pontypool situation.

Sister Andrea asks Father Ignatius about the “bites” taken out of his robes and then sees a literal hole through his side. Gross. There’s a little gremlin inside! Fun.

Sheryl is wearing an absolutely hideous jacket and checking in on Leland and Baby Antichrist. Fatherhood has been…hard on Leland.

Sister Andrea sees a demon just chilling in the church. Maybe this place needs better lighting. The demon is feeling up the walls, so Sister Andrea grabs some gardening shears and threatens it with them. It has really bad breath and battles with the Sister, who is interrupted by David, who sees nothing.

17 minutes before the credits! Our warning this time is “Jenny Park of Sun Valley, Utah skipped the intro and lost all her hair. She lives in Utah, though, so she was probably using Monat and that’s why.

Ben is at home and is surprised a woman has come to call, implying that he invited her over. He’s not one to look a gift hookup in the mouth so they bang, but he insists he didn’t call her. She says someone with his voice sure did, and he confesses about seeing the djinn. She thinks that’s cool because she channels Jesus. Ooooh….kay. You hook up with the weirdest ladies, Ben.

Kristen is at the shrink asking to see her file, and Robin the secretary snitches to Leland. The Antichrist is calmed by Kristen’s voice, so obviously the next logical thing is to play this bebe tapes of her counseling sessions. Imagine if this whole satanic operation is taken down by a HIPAA violation.

Everyone having trouble with their words is giving me severe secondhand embarrassment. Ben brags about getting lucky. Sister Andrea is just wandering around with her shears prepared to kill demons. David acts like this is strange considering everything else he’s personally witnessed. And despite him clearly thinking she’s crazy he allows her to walk alone, carrying a weapon, into a room with Father Ignatius, who is being torn apart by that little demon.

Oh hey, Andy exists! He gets his activation call. Now we’re with Ben and his hookup and they’re having the kind of discussions I used to have stoned while in college. And now Sister Andrea is tempting the little demon with marshmallows. The bowl is apparently never-ending like Homer eating brownies. Sister Andrea drags the demon around, which no one can see. Nor can they see the big one who is just standing in the hallway. The smaller demon can talk and says it was helping the Father, but then again it also says it’s a demon of futility. Sister Andrea says it’s actually the Demon of Grief and it’s yelling at her about her regrets. Rude. Sister Andrea tells the team EVERYONE needs an exorcism. I actually agree with her.

Leland is torturing Andy and seems to be hypnotizing him into killing his daughter that night. In exchange, he’ll pawn off the Antichrist on their family? Maybe?

Back to Sister Andrea! The Demon of Grief has escaped the cupboard, but the larger demon is here. She stabs him with a cross because she’s the best character on this show.

This show really cuts back and forth between characters and scenes with a quickness. Now we’re with Andy and it’s bedtime in the Bouchard house. This is adorable but I feel like in real life most of these girls would be rolling their eyes at bedtime stories at their age. And be VERY angry about the bunkbed situation. Later that night, Andy pulls out the Murder Needle and goes into the girls’ room. He’s just about to inject her but you can see him resisting…and he injects himself. I did expect that, I’ll be honest. Him holding a needle is going to be an issue.

Sister Andrea is trying to lure the Demon of Grief out again, but the Father wakes up. So instead, she talks to him about grief in an actually very sweet moment. This makes the Demon of Grief leave him, giving Sister Andrea the finger before she stomps it to death. I love her.

While David and Ben are heading to the exorcism, which OBVIOUSLY has to take place in a spooky tower, Kristen calls Ben to tell him Andy had a heart attack but will probably pull through. The Demon of Words seems to be kind of enjoying this exorcism, honestly. Sister Andrea returns with the shears and stabs at the demon, who gets stuck in the doorframe because he’s so fat with words. She explores him with the shears and our reporter is instantly cured, as is everyone else. Sister Andrea gets no credit.

At the hospital, Kristen thinks Andy should look into addiction treatment and Andy thinks he should get away from the family. He’s probably right. He wants to go to an inpatient psychiatric program. Another Demon of Grief appears to be watching over this discussion. How many of these fuckers are there?

THE END!