Oh boy.

This week…is ugly, folks. There’s no silver lining. Even during a Super Bowl weekend where many people are glued to their TV sets (or mobile devices, you whippersnappers!) on Sunday, the box office can still survive. But not this year. NOT THIS YEAR! Dune: Part Two and Kung Fu Panda 4 can’t get here soon enough!

Our number one movie, as I predicted last week, is Argylle. Sadly the only clout this comedic caper has is being able to say “the number one movie in America, two weeks in a row!” in its marketing now, since it made just $6.5 million, bringing its total to $28 million. Ouch. I had been rooting for this movie to find an audience, and I’m sure it still will, but not until it reaches streaming. Too bad. I thought that cat was cute.

But that’s not nearly as awful as the opening weekend for Lisa Frankenstein, which is dead on arrival with a pathetic $3.8 million. Yes, yes, Diablo Cody’s Juno was a huge hit commercially, but Jennifer’s Body wasn’t. Granted, that film dropped the ball from the start by trying to sell itself in a very 2009 way as a “chicks kissing, bro” flick when it was really a snarky horror comedy, but it did at least have the benefit of star power with Megan Fox. Regardless, though, Cody’s sense of humor doesn’t necessarily translate to mainstream audiences, so it’s no surprise that a movie about a teenage girl who is in love with a dead person she brings back to life didn’t take off.

More importantly, though, Lisa Frankenstein felt like a film that was trying to become a new cult classic before it even opened, and I can’t help but feel that turned some potential filmgoers away. I knew something was off when I heard about people leaving the theater early during “Regal Mystery Monday” screenings earlier this week. Critics were also sour on it, which could have also been a breaking point for many here. In any case, don’t look for Lisa Frankenstein to be resurrected anytime soon.

There were other new releases, because movie theaters are weird right now, so something called Out of Darkness opened. This is probably the first time I’ve ever seen a movie poster use the quote “gripping stone age survivalist horror,” so yeah, this made $1 million since most people hadn’t even heard of it until now. Disney also “re-released” Turning Red to theaters this weekend after sending it straight-to-streaming in 2022, and needless to say, no one showed up, with it grossing only $535,000. I heard that so many theaters were empty for this that many venues just flat-out cancelled screenings and showed other films in their place. Ouch. The large format reissue of Dune had better luck, managing to make it into the top ten. DUNE!

And speaking of the top ten, here its is, via Deadline

1.) Argylle (App/Uni) 3,605 theaters, Fri $1.96M (-70%) Sat $3.2M Sun $1.2M 3-day $6.5M (-62%) Total $28.8M/ Wk 2

2.) Lisa Frankenstein (Foc) 3,144 theaters, Fri $1.74M, Sat $1.3M Sun $690K, 3-day $3.8M/Wk 1

3.) The Beekeeper (AMZ MGM) 3,057 (-220) theaters, Fri $962K (-26%) $1.8M Sun $650K 3-day $3.4M (-35%), Total $54.6M/Wk 5

4.) Wonka (WB) 2,764 (-146) theaters, Fri $775K (-25%) Sat $1.68M Sun $670K 3-day $3.125M (-33%), Total $205.2M/Wk 9

5.) The Chosen (Fath) 1,955 (-304) Fri $852K (-51%) Sat $1.35M Sun $947K 3-day $3.15M (-57%)/Total $12.5M/Wk 2

6.) Migration (Ill/Uni) 2,684 (-146) Fri $660K (-22%) Sat $1.6M Sun $730K 3-day $3M (-28%), Total $110.1M/ Wk 8

7.) Anyone But You (Sony) 2,805 (+186) Fri $935K (-11%) Sat $1.34M Sun $425K 3-day $2.7M (-20%),Total $80.1M/Wk 8

8.) Mean Girls (Par) 2,620 (-487) theaters, Fri $565K (-44%) Sat $1M Sun $355K 3-day $1.92M (-50%), Total $69.1M/Wk 5

9.) Dune (re) (Leg/WB) 2,100 theaters, Fri $570K Sat $806K Sun $284K 3-day $1.66M Total $110.55M/Wk 121

10.) American Fiction (AMZ MGM) 1,462 (-440) theaters, $402K (-35%) Sat $662K Sun $265K 3-day $1.32M (-45%), Total $17.3M/Wk 9