Welcome back to the weekly Tabletop Games thread! This thread is where we can talk about all kinds of RPGs, card games, board games, etc. Whether you gather around a physical table in the real world, or use a virtual space to play with friends who may live far away from you, this is where you can discuss your favorites, ask for and/or receive recommendations, recap your recent adventures, or even find some people to play games with!

This week’s prompt: This week, Handsome Young Dugong brings us a system overview of Pease Was Never an Option, a game that uses the famous Powered by the Apocalypse mechanic, but rather than slay monsters of the week, delve into dungeon worlds, or survive the end of days, it…has pesky animals doing their taxes and going to movies.  I hope this isn’t coming off as anything other than high praise, because the game is a hoot.

What is it?

Basically, it’s a TTRPG version of Untitled Goose Game.  You pick an ordinary animal with skills that fit said animal, and try to do a normal human thing like the laundry or attain land and title.  The clever part comes when you have to think about how a squirrel or a raccoon could actually shop for groceries without being shooed away by the employees.  The game has some random tables for choosing the human activity, giving NPCs defining features, and deciding what’s in the garbage can.  

What are the mechanics?

As mentioned above, the game uses the Powered by the Apocalypse dice mechanic.  For the uninitiated, any action that has some uncertainty about success will roll 2d6, adding a modifier if necessary.  On a total of 1-6, the action fails and there will be an in-story consequence.  On a 7-9, it is a “mixed success,” in which the action succeeds but has an additional cost, drawback, or choice to make.  Roll a 10+ and the action succeeds, usually with some added bonus.   The rules page gives some handy guidelines regarding when to ask for a roll so players aren’t rolling too often or too little.

What does the gameplay look like?

A seagull and a goat have gotten past the bouncer at a pool hall with a carefully placed scratchy lottery ticket, getting them that much closer to their ultimate goal of shooting a round of pool.  However, the group of surly, no-nonsense bikers currently occupying the pool table promise to inhibit the achievement of that goal.  Seagull and goat communicate in the way that animals would on old TV shows with low budgets, looking vaguely at each other while human speech is dubbed over to discuss their options.  Moving some of the pickled eggs from the bar to the radiator seems like it would do the trick.  Goat will have to stealthily move to the edge of the bar and eat the bartender’s rag, distracting him long enough for Seagull to steal some eggs from the jar.  Goat rolls a 3 and a 4 combined with its +0 Sneak score yields a 7, meaning it gets a mixed success.  The GM decides that Goat will be safely under the bar, but one of the bikers will sidle over and block its way to the wipe rag.  Goat’s creepy sideways-pupil eyes dart left and right, when it notices the leg of the bar stool straining under the weight of the biker.  Goat gives the stool the slightest nudge, rolling a 2, a 6, and adding his domineer bonus of +2, yielding a 10.  The stool breaks, the biker tumbles to the floor, and all eyes are on the biker.  Seagull sees its chance.

Niche

The most obvious niche is for people who really want to run Untitled Goose Game as a TTRPG, so the majority of Americans surveyed (namely myself and my son, who, despite never having played Untitled Goose Game did appreciate the option of playing a “naughty goose”).  However, the game is two pages long, has familiar mechanics, an impish sense of humor, and random tables, all of which make the game a fine option for pick-up play.  I can imagine this game being brought out at the end of a dinner party or for a family game night.

Pluses

• Easy to learn with clear directions
• Animals causing mayhem
• Cheap PDF
• Travels well
• Only requires vague knowledge of the capabilities of common North American animals – no big lore dumps

Minuses

• A pretty narrow premise
• PBTA games as a monolith require a good amount of improvisation, which some players may not prefer.

Dugong’s advice

• Treat the game as a sandbox; toss a bunch of stuff into a scene and just see where the players go with it.  They may find a use for tin foil and matchbox cars that you never dreamed of. 
• Don’t be afraid to make up some new animal options.  You just need a move score, a sneak score, and one other score that suits the animal’s abilities.  If I were to make my dog a character, he would have +1 Move, +0 Sneak, and +2 Freak the Heck Out.
• I couldn’t find any actual plays of Peace was Never an Option, possibly due to the prevalence of the meme the game takes its name from, but if you would like an example of how Powered by the Apocalypse games work, try The Crit Show podcast.  The GM has a real knack for giving the players tough choices on their mixed success rolls.

Where can I find it?

PDFs are available at itch.io or DriveThruRPG for the low, low price of $3.00.

Thanks for the write-up, Dugong! If you would like to suggest a prompt or contribute a write-up of your own, let me know in the comments!