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Werewolves 143: Prison Break ’72 – Day 2

After burying the opossum in a large snowdrift, making sure his body looks like roadkill, you decide it’s too dangerous to stay on the ground.

The bus has a tourist map of Vermont in the glovebox, along with a half-empty pack of Pall Malls and a bottle of maple syrup. You’re only a few miles from the East Westville Regional Airport. A quick cut across a class-four logging road and you’re there.

“Airport” might be a strong word for this; it’s more of a plane yard. There’s a metal shed with a wooden tower, a windsock, and half a dozen propeller planes parked on the apron of an airstrip.

“No 727s,” says D. B. Cooper, shaking his head sadly at your options. “Shame. Well, let’s meet the locals.”

You walk into the airport. A couple old men in overalls and baseball caps are drinking coffee in front of a cast-iron stove.

“Hey!” they say to you in unison. There’s an old poodle napping in front of the stove, and it makes a kind of “whhf” sighing noise at you before returning to sleep.

“Airports have changed,” says Kenny Rogers.

“Salutations!” says Queen Lenora, striding forward. “It is I, Queen Lenora. Good day to you, good sirs.”

The two men look at each other uncertainly. “Hey?” they say again, less confidently.

“I have just the worst headache right now,” says Lenora sweetly, “and I was wondering if I could have one of your planes.”

“Do those things connect?” says the man on the left.

“Altitude helps relieve the pressure,” says Perd Hapley. “I’m Perd Hapley.

“I’m Bob Dole,” says Bob Dole.

“Perd Hapley.”

“Bob Dole.”

Perd and Bob nod at each other.

“Well, I’m Cal,” says the man on the left, “and this here is my brother Art. It’s real nice to meetcha, but I dunno if we can just give you a plane.”

“Why are you wearing prison stripes?” asks Art.

“It’s cold outside,” says Lenora. “The visions are stronger when it’s cold. Must… make…. television…”

Wicked cold,” says Mr. Chips. “Hello, I’m Mr. Chips. I’m definitely from around these parts.”

“Really?” says Art. “I never met you before, I don’t think.”

Mr. Chips begins to sweat. “I’m from… over the mountain.”

“Ohhh,” say Cal and Art, who then sip their coffee in unison.

“So,” says Perd, “about that plane.”

Five minutes later you’re piling into an aircraft with bullet holes in it from World War II.

“Easy on the stick,” says Cal as he and Art push the plane towards the runway. “It’s sticky.”

“Can do, my man,” says Mr. Chips. “I’ve definitely done this before.” He gives Cal a winning smile and closes the door. “I’ve never done this before,” he says to the rest of you. “D.B.?”

Cooper shakes his head. “My specialty was jets.”

The cat hops up onto a seat. “Eu sou um piloto certificado com mais de cinquenta mil horas de vôo.”

“Aww,” you all say in unison. “Kitty!” You then give the cat many more head pats than it wants.

“Hold on,” says Loftus McSnoozy. He then falls over, snoring. Five awkward seconds pass, and then he stands back up. “I just went to dream flight school. I’ve got this.”

He moves the cat to the floor with some difficulty, then gives the brothers a thumb’s-up and mashes a whole bunch of buttons and switches with his hand. The plane starts up.

“Huh,” says Perd.

You taxi down the runway, bounce once, then twice, and then you’re off.

“So what do they teach you in dream flight school?” asks Mr. Chips.

“Oh it’s real easy,” says Loftus, “there’s just one big switch that says ‘PLANE.'”

“So this was an interpretive dream flight school?”

“You could say thaAAAAH!”

Loftus hauls on the yoke as you narrowly miss the Pomson State helicopter. You see Judith Stroan’s face flash by, and she’s pissed.

“Can a plane outrun a helicopter?” asks Bob Dole.

“I dunno,” says Loftus. “Let me ask my instructor.” He flops lifelessly over the yoke and the plane goes into a nosedive. Everybody screams as you go weightless.

Mojo Jojo hauls him bodily from the seat, swats away the cat, and levels you out. You’re zooming across snowy fields about 10 feet up. The wake effect drags a huge, glimmering cloud of snow into the air behind you.

“It’s beautiful,” says Queen Lenora, watching out a rear porthole. “Maybe… maybe I am strongest kid.”

The rest of you pick yourselves up off the floor… except for one.

Mr. Chips (Spookyfriend) has died. They were-

The plane does a barrel roll, and everyone is thrown around again. One of you pulls out a secret book of ancient magic and reads a line from a bookmarked page. It’s hard to do this during a barrel role, but this individual is determined. Time slows.

“No!” cries the ghost of Mr. Chips, unheard to anyone but the spellcaster. “Mr. Chips will NEVER become your thrall. I stand for traditional American values and would never betray my oaths as a police officer. Even if it’s to do magic. Sorry fam.” Time resumes.

“Shoot,” says the person with the spellbook.

-THE COUPON FORGER and a NARC.

The plane levels out. The rest of you go through Mr. Chips’ pockets and find some engraving plates and a badge.

“Bob Dole can’t wait to forge coupons,” says Bob Dole. “I’m really gonna live it up then. Bob Do-“

Suddenly, someone stuffs a parachute onto Bob Dole from behind. Before he understands what’s happening, a one-way ticket to Bulgaria is tucked into his suit jacket and he’s booted out of the plane. He ends up having a lovely time there, although it gets awkward when the secret police find out he’s been telling the locals how bad communism is.

The only things left of him on the plane are a badge and a trash bag full of assorted pills.

Bob Dole (Owen) has, for all intents and purposes, died. He was the DRUG HOARDER and another NARC.

“Have a nice flight, Mr. Senator,” mutters Birdman.

“Same to you,” says a voice behind him, and then several hands grab him and throw him out after Dole. His wings aren’t quite ready for airplane speeds. A badge and a rotary phone fall out of his costume.

Birdman (Jake) has died. He (she) was the UNLICENSED TRAVEL AGENT and a PRISONER.

“I’m feeling overstimulated,” says Dharma.

“Can we land and look at cows?” asks Greg.

The airframe is then raked with gunfire. You all scream and cower as the helicopter roars up behind you.

I’m authorized to use deadly force!” yells the voice of Judith Stroan through a megaphone. “I’ll do it! Oh gosh, I’m serious!”

Suddenly, Loftus McSnoozley sits up. “I know how to plane faster, he says.

He shoves Mojo Jojo out of the pilot’s seat, fights off the adorable Portuguese cat again, and mashes a whole bunch more buttons and switches. The engines roar as you fall backwards.

A fuel line has been punctured by the gunfire, and the Riddler suddenly finds himself soaked in aviation gasoline.

“Riddle me this,” he begins, and then someone strikes a match. He’s immolated before you get the full riddle.

The Riddler ’66 (MarloweSpade) has died. He was THE SMUGGLER and a third NARC.

“Huh,” says Dorothy Loudon, gingerly pulling a tire iron and a badge from the Riddler’s smoking corpse. “So this is the price of freedom.” You shove his charred remains out of the plane.

“We’re heading into a squall,” says Loftus, “but don’t worry. I spent 10 years in the Kingdom of Airplanes just now, and I know what to do.”

“Oh, it’s lovely there this time of year,” says Queen Lenora. “How is King Nyeeoow?”

“Oh, he’s good,” says Loftus. “I accidentally got engaged to Princess Propeller, though. Don’t tell my wives in the other dream worlds.”

You roar into the squall and the whole world goes gray. After a few minutes, you hear the helicopter give up. You slip into a commercial air corridor and, with the help of Loftus’ ersatz training, pass yourself off as a small regional carrier en route to Pittsburgh.

[spoiler title=ROLES]

Factions:

Everybody started the game with the following:

[/spoiler]

[spoiler title=RULES]

[/spoiler]

[spoiler title=PLAYERS]

  1. AprilLKD / Kid on a road trip
  2. Beelzebot / Chuck, blue enthusiast
  3. Colonel Mustard / Finn Edwards
  4. Dramus / Lysithea Von Ordelia
  5. Goat / Kenny Rogoats
  6. Hohopossum / “Har Har” Harvey Possum – The Crooked Constable / Prisoner
  7. Hoju / D. B. Cooper
  8. InnDEEEEED / A velociraptor
  9. Jake / Birdman – The Unlicensed Travel Agent / Prisoner
  10. Josephus Brown / Philly, Portuguese cat
  11. MacCrocodile / Big Mac aka the Hamburglar
  12. MarloweSpade / Riddler ’66 – The Smuggler / NARC
  13. Narrowstrife / Loftus McSnoozley, Dream Criminal
  14. Nate / Perd Hapley
  15. Owen1120 / Bob Dole – The Drug Hoarder / NARC
  16. Ralph / Dharma and also Greg
  17. Raven and Rose / Ono Michio
  18. RPC / The Co-op Brothers
  19. Sagittariuskim / Mojo Jojo
  20. Side Character / Francis
  21. Sister Jude / Dorothy Loudon
  22. Spooky / “Mr. Chips” – The Coupon Forger / NARC
  23. Wasp / Queen Lenora

Backups:

  1. Dicentra, Mistress of the Dark
  2. SheleetaHam
  3. Louie Blue

Day 2 will end Thursday, January 28 at 8 p.m. EST.

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