In between her stints as a marine biologist and a prison warden, Barbie has, unsurprisingly, been an athlete in the Olympics. During the 1996 Atlanta Games (when she wasn’t having her steamy, tabloid-worthy affair with Izzy), she competed in gymnastics, and naturally won gold.
Of course, that didn’t happen without a price. You see, Barbie had to win. And she was willing to go through some questionable methods to do so. This included inserting a giant key into the side of her waist, which was as incredibly painful as that sounds. “I’m assuming it hurt like childbirth,” Barbie was reported to have said, “but that’s never going to be an issue for me since Ken isn’t anatomically correct.”
This “key”—which amazingly didn’t count as a rules violation—helped Barbie turn somersaults like no one thought possible. This caused her to be dubbed “Super Gymnast Barbie” by the press. “She’s the next Simone Biles, and I don’t think she’s even been born yet!” (Editor’s note: Izzy was contacted about this header, but declined to comment)
Have a golden night, y’all!