The Internet’s premier marble sporting event is now in full swing. This year, the Marble League, formerly known as the Marblelympics, is taking place concurrently with the Humanlympics, also known as The Olympics. As if there weren’t other kinds of Olympics. As if fleshy bags of blood and bone could ever hope to compare to shiny glass balls. As if the Marble League would ever be opposed by 80% of its host nation’s citizens.
But I digress. This space is all about our favourite orbicular athletes, competing in tests of skill, finesse, and speed. The Wave is like an athletic version of The Price Is Right: get as close as you can to the last basin without crashing over the edge. Balancing is all about travelling in a straight line. And as for the 5 Meter Sprint, these tiny Usain Bolts race each other down a track four at a time and try to reach the finish line first.
Here are the events for your viewing pleasure:
In order to keep the workload manageable for myself, I’ll be posting a Marble League discussion space for every third event. Keep on rolling, my friends!
Stray thoughts:
- The Gliding Glaciers are doing quite well after returning from retirement. They currently sit in second place, just behind Team Momo, and are actually tied in points. (Ties are broken based on the number of golds, silvers, etc.)
- Though Felynia Coliseum doesn’t have a lot of distinctive features, the Crazy Cat’s Eyes have done a wonderful job of hosting so far.
- Man, that record in the 5 Meter Sprint kept getting smashed like a coconut at an Indian wedding.[footnote]I’m Indian; I’m allowed to make that joke.[/footnote]
- A Jelle’s Marble Runs video game has been announced, coming this fall to PC, Mac, and mobile. I’m intrigued.
- A big thank you to Lutair, Indy, and April for their previous JMR coverage. I’ve got some big shoes to fill (refill?) And no, before you ask, I won’t even be trying to find Roldo (though I did spot him in Event #3).
For complete Marble League 2021 stats, please check out the Jelle’s Marble Runs Wiki.