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Announcing the Winners of the The 2020 Peely Awards for the Worst in Pop Culture

wolfmanjew

After two weeks of voting, here are the winners you – the members of the Avocado – have voted for in this contest of the worst pop cultural product of 2020.

But first, permit me to talk a moment about Quibi.

If 2020 – a year marked by a deadly virus, uncontrolled conspiracy, gross, selfishness, and unjustified arrogance, than there was no arrogance greater than that of Quibi, the failed “all on your phone” channel. I know that’s the case, because you all voted for that! Jeffrey Katzenberg’s attempt to revolutionize television boiled down to the conceit of “people watch things on their phone,” and proceeded to make a channel you could only watch on your phone. A channel that spent billions upon billions so creators, any creators – from brilliant to absolute garbage – could create whatever they wanted with no oversight or consolidation. A channel that had one of my favorite shows of 2020 occupying space with a show whose pilot is so punishingly amateurish that its existence is still unbelievable. Quibi was a Libertarian dream, and like most Libertarian dreams, it crashed in ways comical, tragic, and pathetic.

Quibi did not get a great showing at this event. Largely, because we ended up with categories that did not support it, and partially because barely anyone here watched them. But I want to highlight it. It deserves its own pilloring, because it is the truly perfect failure of pop culture in the past year.

But it wasn’t Quibi alone. The theme of 2020 was “bad,” and the weakest cultural products lived down to a generally miserable year. Companies exploited and ignored the needs of a world under threat of a pandemic. Too many works of art punched down, while others lauded ambitions and themes drowned in caricature. We have for you a smorgasbord.

Here are all forty-three winners, alongside the runners up (nine for Worst Film, four for all others, and adding ties). I apologize for the size, but WordPress has decided to cut spoiler tags. To note, final tallying – double nominations included – was done between midnight and 2:30 Eastern. Thank you so much to Lovely Bones and LibraryLass for helping with the writing, construction, and presentation of these awards. All notes in the awards are from Bones and myself.

1. The “I’M JAHVERHT” Award for Worst Performance (Owen1120)

2. The Indescribable Award for Event That Children Won’t Believe Actually Happened Twenty Years from Now (Demyx)

3. The Stuck at Home Award for Worst Media to Gain Popularity because of Quarantine (Otakunomike, LoveWaffle)

4. The Trying Too Hard Award for Worst Attempt At Trying To Tell People We’re “All In This Together” (Tigercat919)

5. The End Zone Dance Macabre Award for Weirdest Thing in Sports to Adapt to COVID (El Santo) 

6. The Stink, Stank, Stunk Award for Worst Advertisement (Worst Media Poster [not a commenter, a literal poster], Worst COVID Advertising) (Zeussical, Owen1120)

7. The Crisp Autumn Air as You Relax in a Café Award for Thing You Miss Most from the Before Times (Captain Video) (Captain Video)

8. The Sensation of Grasping Your Phone – Of Course You’re Using Your Phone; There’s no Reason to Wear a Watch at Home – as You Struggle to Hold Through a Movie that Will Just Not End, Endlessly Plodding Through Asinine Plot Point after Asinine Plot Point. And Why Can’t the Director Just Realize that the Limitations of Time are a Central Aspect of Strong and Coherent Storytelling? Please, For God’s Sake Just Think… The Rest of Speil Award for Entertainment that Could Have Been Sizably Cut for Time? (Owen1120, KingKat)

9. Consistently and Thoroughly Is The Award for Worst Attempt at Being RADICAL (Shit-Master Slootfass)

10. The Pretentious Fraud’s Award for Most Egregious Awards Bait (Sir Simon Milligan, Merve, Wolfman Jew)

11. Huh, So What is a “Quibi?” Award for Best Show Locked Away on a Streaming Service You Don’t Want (LoveWaffle)

12. The Maybe Try Harder, Again Award for Worst Well-Meaning Representation in Media (SadClown)

13. Mank Award For Most Glaringly Inaccurate Pop Cultural Take on History (Wasp)

14. The Edgar Winter’s Scientology Proselytizing Award for Worst non-Musical Output by a Band / Artist, or Similarly Worst Transitions between Mediums (Shit-Master Slootfass)

15. The C’mon, Pal Award for Worst Part of an Otherwise Good Work (Merve)

16. The 5 / 10 Award for Most Average Content (Owen1120)

17. The Crocodile Fucking Award for Dumbest Moment that’s Still Fun in a Lizard Brain Kind of Way (Wolfman Jew) 

18. The One Who Holds Things Together Award for Best Performance in a Bad Production (Malkatraz)

19. The “You’re Tearing Me Apart, Lisa” Award for Worst Line Reading (Merve)

20. The [Spoiler Redacted] Award for Worst Character Death (Sir Simon Milligan)

21. The “Where’s Firefly?” Award for Worst TV Show Cancellation (Sir Simon Milligan, upvote moneydog). This category was very difficult to tabulate and tally, as many people added repeat mentions of their favorite, sadly killed shows. Because of that, and because we want to honor the shows we all deeply love, we’d like to simply name the series people in this community already miss:

22. The EA Spouse Memorial Award for Worst Labour Abuse in the Entertainment Industry (Merve) 

23. The Defective Bread Award for Most Egregious Corporate Malfeasance (Merve)

24. Most Accidentally Offensive Moral / Message / Theme (Owen1120)

25. Most Purposely Offensive Moral / Message / Theme (Owen1120)

26. Selfish, Indulgent, It’s the Award for Worst Fan Service [NOTE: not for sexual fan service] (kevzero / Mr Ixolite)

27. The Not Understanding TikTok Award for Worst New Word or Phrase Added to the Cultural Lexicon (Merve)

28. Throwing Caution to the Wind, this Person Had the Most Unjustified Arrogance (Merve)

29. The Wild Mountain Thyme Memorial Award for Most Nonsensical Plot Twist  (Shit-Master Slootfass)

30. The Gross, Gross, No Award for Worst Fan Behavior (SadClown)

31. The Stephen King Award for Worst Ending (upvote moneydog)

32. Worst Facet of Cyberpunk 2077 (Cohen, justiceforbreonna, KingCrow, Wolfman Jew) NOTE: the sheer wave of evil produced by the game and its publisher means that, tragically, its many more hilarious failures did not get enough votes

33. The Schadenfreude Award for Most Satisfying Comeuppance or Self-Own in Pop Culture (LoveWaffle, KingKat, Wolfman Jew)

34. Worst Piece of Pop Culture from 2019 that did neither Won nor Got a Finalist Nomination in Last Year’s Peely’s (Wolfman Jew)

35. To You, The Supporter, Best Peely’s Category That Didn’t Make the Cut (Lovely Bones)

36. Worst thing the Avocado Watched in a Live Show this Year (Wolfman Jew)

37. Worst Title for an Eric Roberts Movie Released in 2020

38. Worst Video Game of 2020

39. Worst Album of 2020

40. Worst Television Season of 2020

41. Worst Book of 2020

42. Worst Film of 2020

Thanks for reading, and again, apologies for the length.

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