“Sir, if you are as happy in entering the White House as I shall feel on returning to Wheatland, you are a happy man indeed.” – James Buchanan
Alright, lower your guns, everyone! The first round is over!
Despite public consternation and even my concerns this would turn out worse than an unjustified and destructive invasion of Cambodia, the community responded in droves with over 100 members voting and 671 comments at last count in the thread itself. And only 60% of them were from me!
We came together, hassled it out, and narrowed our field down to 22 remaining Presidents. We laughed, we learned, we tried to figure out Reconstruction, we up voted, and we down voted. Oh lord, did we down vote.
Speaking of which, let’s cut to Losers HQ to get their reaction.
Wow, bitter much! Let’s head over to winners HQ to see their reaction at last round’s results.
Alright, enough basking, now onto brass tacks.
In honor of Disney Month, I’ve decided to spotlight one essential aspect of the President’s first 100 days. In between learning the nuclear launch codes, getting their cabinet members approved, and launching their policy initiatives, the President of the United States must record a short speech for the show you watch while waiting for the lines to get a little smaller at the Haunted Mansion.
That’s right, it’s your third favorite childhood Disney World attraction and mine, The Hall of Presidents!
Walt Disney dreamed of having a show with all the Presidents together that would build on Great Moments With Mr. Lincoln, but his dream only came true after his death. The ride is an attempt to synthesize a heroic and optimistic view of the American promise, often updated with the aid of prominent historians and now positioning a unique speech recorded by the incumbent President next to speeches by Audio-Animatronic versions of Washington and Lincoln. The rest are silent but nod in approval.
It’s been a fraught example of kitsch, especially when the current inhabitant of the White House can’t be trusted to be theme park friendly. But then again, isn’t the disconnect between kitschy appreciation and the horrors of running a nation-state core to how we look at the position?
At any rate, every President will be represented by a picture of their Hall of Presidents counterpart found in this article. I’ve also added a riddle by putting a date that affected both Presidents above each match. Can you figure out their importance?
If you can, you’ll have to wait until we remember that we voted out these….
LAME DUCKS
William McKinley
Grover Cleveland
William Henry Harrison
Woodrow Wilson
George H. W. Bush
Ronald Reagan
James Garfield
Zachary Taylor
Calvin Coolidge
John Tyler
Benjamin Harrison
George W. Bush
Gerald Ford
Franklin Pierce
Herbert Hoover
Warren Harding
Andrew Jackson
Millard Fillmore
Richard Nixon
James Buchanan
Andrew Johnson
Donald Trump