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Werewolves 85: 191X – Day 5

Pvt. Boris was having, if not a lovely war, then at least a tolerable one. She’d chat with the others for a bit, but no one ever really noticed her. She’d shoot at the Germans for a bit, but they never shot back.

As night came, she lay on her back in a shallow crater, hands behind her head, watching the stars. One of them twinkled especially bright. As she sat up to get a better look, she heard a low whistle. Looney Tunes hadn’t been invented yet, but she figured it out anyway.

“Oh no,” said Boris, just before the shell hit.

Boris has died. She was a GERMAN SPY (Wolf).

Additionally, a stray fragment kills Hoho wombat ready possum, who was sleeping in the shattered remains of a nearby tree. He was INFANTRY (Town).

From his position two trenches over, Lance Corporal Alistair Edmond Angela MacCrocodile III watches with satisfaction through his opera glasses. He doesn’t need to get closer to know he hit a German. He knows what Germans look like when they blow up.

Alistair reaches up behind his mask to scratch his disfigured face, and weighs the state of things. The war has taken much from him, but it has given things in return. For instance, when he hears a low whistling from above, he knows what it is without looking up.

“Merde,” he says, half a second before the explosion.

Lance Corporal Alistair Edmond Angela MacCrocodile III (MacCrocodile) has died. He was NCO #1 (Vigilante).

Two trenches over from him, Mary Pickford smiles silently at her success. Her face falls as she hears a noise behind her. Before she can turn, a feldspaten comes down on her head.

Mary Pickford (Sister Jude the Obscure) has died. She was NCO #2 (Vigilante).

Breakfast the following morning is somber. You can’t even enjoy the sound your Rice Krispies make. You pour some milk out for the three dead who weren’t spies.

“We must be strong,” counsels Rilla. “We may yet prevail.”

“I-I don’t know,” says Lammy, looking around nervously. “The Germans c-could be anyone.”

“And where is our lieutenant?” asks Victor Delamarre, flexing as he lifts his spoon. “She has gone missing, no?”

Just then, a hand shoots up out of the ground. You all shriek like children.

“At ease!” says Lt. Esther Trout, clawing her way out of a tunnel. There’s dirt in her ponytail and a gleam in her eyes. “I spent the night digging! It started out as a grave for Chuck, and then I kinda just… kept going. It helped clear my head.” She pauses. Then: “It leads right to Stalag 69. Only took me a few hours.”

“You’ve been gone for a day and a half,” says Deryn Sharp.

“Have I?” Lt. Trout looks around. “I kind of lost track of time down there. Who did we lose?”

You read her the names of the dead, and she looks around some more. “We’re missing four more,” she says.

Louie Blue, Mr. I’m My Own Grandfather, ThoughtsThoughtsThoughts and Anna (again) have been taken prisoner.

“Never fear,” says Lt. Trout. “They know about the tunnel. I tunneled up right below their tent and slipped out a note in the night.”

“What did the note say?” asks Augustus Sebald.

“JAILBREAK TONIGHT – GERMANS DO NOT READ.”

“It’s foolproof,” agrees Augustus.

Because the in-trench player count has dropped to a third of the starting number, there will be a jailbreak tonight:

Trench Times

“Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger”

War News


Today’s Trading Cards

(That ornament is a real thing you can buy.)


“Fragments from France”

By Bruce Bairnsfather


 

[spoiler title=”LIVING PLAYERS”]

  1. A Winged Potato – Lord Flashheart
  2. Annanomally – Reposted InnDEEEEED Comments
  3. April LKD – King Elroy Bertrand Poopypants of East Hampshire
  4. Clodia – Clothilde Renou
  5. D. Goat – Gort v3.0
  6. Grumproro – D.H. Lawrence
  7. Hegel Exercises
  8. Jake – The Luggage
  9. Jon Hamm’s John Ham – Jonathan Hamsworth
  10. Lamb Dance – John Laurens
  11. Mayelbridwen – Bertha “Rilla” Marilla Blythe
  12. Mr. I’m My Own Grandfather – Rear Brigadier Zapp Brannigan
  13. Owen1120 – Augustus Sebald
    • Pulprobot – John Harrison – Replaced on Day 2 by AWP
  14. Ralph Waldo Wiggum – Victor Delamarre
    • Shipwreck – Midshipman Hector “Shipwreck” Delgado –  Replaced on Day 3 by Thoughts
  15. Sister Mary Francis – Special Private Dolores “Babyface” Guppy
  16. Smapti – Smaptibus µ, of the Mermarians of Mu
  17. ThoughtsThoughtsThoughts
  18. The Hayes Code – Deryn Sharp

[/spoiler]

[spoiler title=”DEAD PLAYERS”]

  1. BannerThief – Corporal BannerThief Vakarian – GERMAN SPY. Died Day 5 in a duel against Jake.
  2. Boris – GERMAN SPY. Killed Night 4 by NCO #1.
  3. BrittaBot – Svvëdish Chef – Infantry. Died Day 2 in a duel against Josephus.
  4. Donalbain – HUNGARIAN SPY. Killed Night 3 by NCO #2.
  5. Dr. Nick – The Internet – MEDIC. Killed Night 1 by the Hungarian Spy.
  6. DW – Merchant from Resident Evil 4 – Infantry. Killed Night 2 by the Hungarian Spy.
  7. E-Dog – GERMAN OFFICER (Wolf roleblocker). Sent over the top at the end of Day 5.
  8. Flubba Gunto – Officer Krazy Kat – Infantry. Killed Night 3 by stray shrapnel.
  9. Hohopossum – Australian wombat-ready possum – Infantry. Killed Night 4 by stray shrapnel.
  10. Josephus Brown – Portugal. The Man – Infantry. Sent over the top at the end of Day 4.
  11. Lindsay – Lena von Meow – Infantry. Died Day 1 in a duel against Mike.
  12. Louie Blue – Cheikh Khoulé – Infantry. Forced to sacrifice himself at the end of Day 5 to aid the jailbreak from Stalag 69.
  13. Lord Stoneheart – Bidoof – Infantry. Died Day 1 in a duel against Jake.
  14. Mac Crocodile – Lance Corporal Alistair Edmond Angela MacCrocodile III – NCO #1 (“OGNCO”) (VIGILANTE). Killed Night 4 by the German spies.
  15. Miss Rim – Dame Augusta Mimsy-Porpington of the Great Snoring Mimsy-Porpingtons – MEDIC. Killed Night 3 by the Hungarian Spy.
  16. Mr. Glitch – Infantry. Sent over the top at the end of Day 2.
  17. Otakunomike – Infantry. Sent over the top at the end of Day 1.
  18. Pearl Sheltie – Buster Keaton/Lt. Count Dracula/Shane McGowan – GERMAN SPY. Died Day 4 in a duel against Louie.
  19. Sic Humor – Steve Smith – Infantry. Died Day 2 in a duel against Spooky.
  20. Sister Jude the Obscure – Mary Pickford – NCO #2 (VIGILANTE). Killed Night 4 by the German spies.
  21. Snugglewumps – Billy D. Orfan – GERMAN SPY. Killed Night 1 by the Austrian spy; also targeted by NCO #1.
  22. Spiny Creature – Comrade Samantha Parkington, an American girl – AUSTRIAN SPY (SK #1). Killed Night 1 by the German spies.
  23. Spookyfriend – Sean the 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚕𝚢 doll – Infantry. Died Day 2 in a duel against AWP.
  24. Subsaharan – Space Corporal Subsaharan
  25. Ult Warrior – Infantry. Killed Night 2 by NCO #1
  26. Zecko – Thelonious “Zecko” Flashman – Infantry. Killed Night 2 by the German spies.

[/spoiler]

[spoiler title=ROLES]

[/spoiler]

[spoiler title=RULES]

Current Victrola music:

Day 5 ends Friday at 8 p.m., EST, or when a majority kill vote is reached.

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