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WW110: Santa Fight – Day 1

After a few minutes of wandering around the plaza, meeting each other and shaking hands, an armored personnel carrier rolls up. Christmas lights are duct-taped to its hull. A woman with pointy ears and a pointy hat dismounts, accompanied by what look like soldiers. You can’t tell if their ears are pointy; they’re wearing gas masks.

“Hello,” she says, in an adorably squeaky voice. “I’m Chordette, and you must be the pure of heart! I’m sure this is all a lot to take in.”

Someone holds up a hand. “Yes?”

“I think I saw a murder earlier.”

“Well,” she says, “have you tried NOT thinking that? Because here in Santagrad, the REAL power is BELIEVING.”

You all look at a bloodstain on the ground. Chordette follows your gaze.

“That could be cranberry sauce.” Her tone is dangerously chipper. “Let’s head over to the Christmas Palace, and I’ll explain more.”

The soldiers shoo you into the APC. Inside, it’s festooned with garlands and tinsel and guns.

“I know this probably wasn’t what you were expecting,” says Chordette, hopping into the shotgun seat. “The truth is that things here at the North Pole are kind of unstable. The popular perception of Santa’s Workshop just isn’t realistic for these dangerous times.”

Are we at the North Pole?” someone asks. “Because we’re standing on rock, and there’s no land at the North Pole.”

Chordette frowns. “Well, if you MUST know, we’re on an island at maybe 89 degrees north. It belongs to either Canada or Denmark or Russia. Nobody’s entirely sure, which is part of why we spend so much money on arms.” She brightens. “I don’t suppose any of you want a hand-whittled AK-47 for Christmas?”

“Does it work?” someone asks.

“Usually!”

“Uh.”

“Well, maybe later,” she says. “The important part is that you see the North Pole for what it really is. One of you will end up living here.”

The APC rolls out, and you drive through downtown Santagrad. Holy shit, there are a LOT of soldiers here, and they’re hanging tinsel on their anti-aircraft guns and missile batteries. Whole blocks of buildings are burned out, popcorn balls strung up in their gutted windows. There are more craters than you expected.

Towering over it all is an immense skyscraper that reaches into the clouds, and it initially looks like you’re driving there. Someone points out the armored windshield at it.

“What’s that?”

Chordette brightens. “Santa’s workshop!”

“…Oh.”

“We’re not going there today. I need you to meet the Elf Council at the Christmas Palace!”

The Christmas Palace looks like it’s been shelled on more than one occasion, and the sandbag emplacements do not bolster your confidence. But the elves wave to you from their positions.

“Is it safe here?” asks a voice from the back.

“Oh, quite!”

You drive up to the entrance and disembark. From here, you can see all of Santagrad laid out below you. It’s almost pretty in the fog.

“Please, feel free to look around,” says Chordette. “Tomorrow is the reading of Mrs. Claus’ will. The Elf Council won’t be meeting until then, so this evening is just for a celebratory dinner and to get to know each other.” She hands each of you a card that says

MEAL SELECTION

“I’ll see you at the dinner. Feel free to explore, just don’t go past the warning signs. Ta ta for now!”

She vanishes in a swirl of sparking dust, leaving you alone in an ancient hall full of antique furniture and security cameras.


 

[spoiler title=PLAYERS]

  1. April LKD / Kevin McCallister
  2. Demyx / Lucy Van Pelt
  3. DW / Venom
  4. E-Dog / Evaneezer Scrooge
  5. Emm / Florence, the Little Match Girl
  6. Fig Plucker / Frank Cross
  7. Flubba Gunto / Red, of the California Raisins
  8. Goat / Forky
  9. Hohopossum / Tiny Tim Possum
  10. Indy / Dude Love
  11. Landstander
  12. Lindsay / Mario Santa
  13. Mars Five / Xmars Five, Cyborg
  14. Mayelbridwen / Comet, the Wonder Reindeer
  15. Mr. I’m My Own Grandfather / Robot Santa
  16. MSD / Rod the Puppet
  17. Raven and Rose / Gerald Loggins
  18. Sic Humor / Tobias, a Make-A-Wish Santa
  19. Side Character / Catbug
  20. Spookyfriend / “Dave,” Morally Ambiguous Man Wearing This Sweater
  21. Subsaharan / Dr. Manhattan
  22. Sukaluski / Ambiguous In-Flight Meal
  23. Tobias Morpheus / Joe Camel
  24. Wasp / Carol

[/spoiler]

[spoiler title=ROLES]

[/spoiler]

[spoiler title=RULES]

Day 1 will end Wednesday, December 4 at 2 p.m. EST.

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