Right so there’s been a lot of hubbub when it comes to Christmas films. Christmas season is nigh upon us and all of the channels from Hallmark to Lifetime are bringing out their best (your mileage may vary on what “best” means in this case). Netflix released its list of films that it produced for 2019 and one involves a certain Christmas prince, apparently the third in the series. Netflix got into the bad Christmas movie game about two or so years ago and the only one I’ve watched is the “hot Santa” one. So I’ve made it my mission to watch the first Christmas Prince which appears to be beloved.
Synopsis:
Christmas comes early for an aspiring young journalist when she’s sent abroad to get the scoop on a dashing prince who’s poised to be king.
This film kicks off with establishing shots of New York City in Christmas. Bad fonts flash upon the screen. A budget Christmas song plays all the while. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought this was a bona fide Hallmark.
We catch up with our heroine Amber who is bugging some guy named Ron about an article he wrote. He isn’t very good at writing, so poor Amber has to fix all of his pieces so that they’re print ready. She’s an aspiring journalist, see, and she wants to make it into the big time. Unfortunately, that means doing grunt work. Ron brushes her away.
As her friends console her, Amber gets called into the boss’s office. Said boss communicates to Amber that the playboy prince of Aldovia is set to take the throne. He’s scandal-riddled which makes him the perfect subject for Amber to cover. Oh yeah, Amber works for a tabloid.
After this fantastic career development, the film pivots to talking about Amber’s love life. Spoiler alert: she has none. She is also picky.
Amber heads to her father’s local diner to tell him that she’s got a big assignment to cover the prince’s inauguration and the disaster he’s sure to cause. She’s nervous and not sure if she should be flying to Aldovia. Dad, who for some reason is Cajun, tells her to follow her dreams.
With that, Amber arrives in Aldovia. Much like Christmas at the Palace‘s San Senova, this country must be a former English colony as everyone speaks with a Southern accent. Amber’s cab gets hijacked by rude bearded man. It’s an inauspicious start to her big journalist career.
She arrives at the palace with all the other legitimate tabloid journalists for a press conference. Unfortunately, it’s cancelled.
Plucky Amber won’t take no for an answer and sneaks into the palace. She probably wouldn’t do this in the White House, so why at her host country’s palace? The audacity. She wanders the premises, but gets caught by security. Thanks to her accent, the guard confuses her for the new American tutor.
Amber is introduced to the lady that runs the palace and is swiftly accepted into the fold. Really now, who has time for background checks or photo verification? Amber is whisked away to meet the queen, who just so happens to be arguing with her son, Christmas Prince. You’d think the governess woman would know not to interrupt, but damn the royal conventions!
Amber and a hobo-chic Christmas Prince lock eyes. He’s the guy who stole her cab. The awkwardness is interrupted (and subsequently compounded) by a child in crutches.
It’s the bratty royal daughter, Emily, and she hates tutors.
The next day, Amber begins her new job of teaching Emily. Rather than teach her basic geometry, she takes the little girl for a walk through the royal garden where Christmas Prince is practicing archery. The two adults flirt in front of the child until Amber breaks a window with an arrow.
Thanks to this display, Emily now loves Amber, so she invites her to a royal party. Let’s not forget that Amber is a liar and fraud, so this is a great opportunity for her to eavesdrop on conversations and snap photos. This palace could do with some kind of security protocol. She learns that Christmas Prince is not into being a king and the royal cousin Simon wants the job.
Later, while wandering the palace, Amber overhears Christmas Prince playing the piano. She interrupts and they talk about their DEAD PARENTS™. It’s a hell of an aphrodisiac for Christmas romcom characters.
The amateur journalist is invited to more parties where she continues to be fed all of that hot goss. An attractive woman named Lady Sofia arrives and that’s supposed to be some big deal.
Emily interrupts Amber’s note-taking to inform her that she saw her computer, so the jig is up. Emily says that she’ll keep it all a secret if Amber reports the truth about Christmas Prince: he isn’t a playboy and is really just a swell guy. Amber’s boss is going to be pissed.
Later, Lady Sofia tries to have it on with Christmas Prince. She wants to join him at a benefit, but he refuses. “That benefit is to raise money for orphan children! It’s not a PR opportunity,” shouts Christmas Prince. This doesn’t stop Lady Sofia from trying to get into his pants and that crown.
At the benefit, Christmas Prince is a no show, leaving the queen highly embarrassed. The journos and guests start panicking. “Who will rule the country?” asks a particularly spooked journo. Amber takes it upon herself to find Christmas Prince. It takes about 30 seconds as he’s building a snowman with a bunch of orphans nearby.
This is followed by a bunch of flirting scenes with Christmas Prince and bonding with Emily. Amber and Christmas Prince have alone time too where they talk about his Dead Father™ and almost kiss.
While researching (read: stealing papers from the royal family), Amber discovers a bombshell: Christmas Prince isn’t technically blood-related to the royal family. He’s adopted.
She tells her tabloid coworkers over Skype who push her to release the story and begin that proper journalist career. She calls her dad who gives her the opposite advice.
Christmas Prince invites Amber on a romantic walk. The journalist is cold since she saw Lady Sofia plant a fat one on him earlier. He tells her they totally aren’t a thing which is enough for Amber to like him again. They kiss.
While those two are on their walkabout, Lady Sofia and Cousin Simon sneak into Amber’s room, finding her passport and the adoption certificate. Worst nightmares all around!
It’s the night of the coronation. Everyone is dressed to approximately the threes, including Amber who received a royal makeover.
As Christmas Prince is about to take the throne, the Prime Minister asks the audience if they have any objections or forever hold their peace. Apparently, he’s only officiated weddings and is using the pre-written script. Lady Sofia uses the opportunity to announce that Christmas Prince is adopted and Cousin Simon should be king. She also throws in that Amber is a fraud for a bit of fun.
Christmas Prince straight up just walks out of the palace. Hopefully, no one has planned any assassinations? Amber goes to the airport.
The next day, the queen tries to make it up to him, but he’s pretty pissed about the whole thing. Queenie couldn’t have a kid (except her miracle child Emily) and explains how she really wanted one. They make up. Christmas Prince vows to take the throne back.
At the airport, Amber has a revelation. In the papers she stole, the Dead Father™ wrote a terrible poem – a poem that holds the key to something. She races back to the palace, is somehow let in, grabs an ornament from the tree, and opens it. Inside is computer paper.
Cousin Simon and Lady Sofia are about to be officiated when Amber bursts through the doors. The letter states that the king rewrote the law to allow his adopted kid to be king. I mean he could’ve changed the law to have women like his daughter be ruler, but who cares about that? I’m also not that familiar with monarchies, but can kings do this without consent from parliament/the governing bodies?
Anyway, they take the crown and scepter from Cousin Simon’s hands and bestow it upon Christmas Prince. He becomes king on Christmas Day.
Back in New York City, Amber hands in her story to the magazine (because the career of a peon in America is important). Her boss isn’t interested and puts her back on fixing Ron’s articles. Amber quits to “start a blog” on Christmas Prince. I hope daddy’s diner pulls in the big money because this makes no fiduciary sense.
As Amber waits tables on New Year’s Eve, someone throws a snowball at the window. It’s Christmas Prince and he’s brought a package: his. He thanks her for what she did and proposes.
After some highly warranted hesitation, Amber says yes. They kiss. FIN.
REVIEW
Christmas Prince was, as usual, there. Though he was conflicted about taking crown, you didn’t feel it so much. The main strain came when he approached the father’s grave to pay his respects and promise to rule the country. Also, he was pretty impulsive. Proposing to a girl whose background is a mystery does not seem prudent. This type of decision-making bodes poorly for his country.
As for Amber, unscrupulous is the word that comes to mind. But whatever for that scoop, eh! She filled the bright-eyed American well enough though.
Emily suffers from spina bifida. This is such a weird thing to incorporate into this film. Why did they give Emily a spinal birth defect? I really wish they explained that because it certainly seems that it was a play for sympathy in the story.
STRAY THOUGHTS
- Netflix had the cash to pay for a bit of the Sinatra version of Jingle Bells.
- This American royal fish out of water thing is one of my most hated tropes.
- My Cajun quote comes purely from the 90s X-Men TV show Gambit.
- This is the emptiest palace I’ve ever seen. There are no kitchen staff, security, or general housekeeping people. Austerity has ruined this country.
- The costuming is a bit cheap.
- Dad’s accent goes through so many baffling evolutions.
- Amber takes Emily sledding without permission. They get caught and the queen initially seems angry but is pretty chill with it. It’s hard to convey right now, but the eye rolling was strong here.
- The hilarious part is that Christmas Prince’s whole plan to stop his cousin from being king was to just attend the ceremony and say no.
- The streets of New York are empty on New Year’s Eve. This is truly a fantastical story.