You are now entering Ad Space, a realm of commercials, brought before us so we might examine how they work, and discuss why we both love and hate them so. So it is written …
The Product:
PNC Bank
The Promotion:
The Pitch:
In a choice between us and these two-bit operations, you know who you gotta pick.
You ever heard of a one scene wonder? A character who appears in just a single scene of a story, but delivers such an incredible performance, with such top rate material, they’re the only thing anyone wants to talk about afterwards?
Well, for me, this commercial has the even rarer one shot wonder – a character who appears in only a single shot, but who I just can’t stop thinking about.
I’m talking, of course, about the proprietor of Oasis Breeze Tan and Spa. This guy has just one line, and is on screen for maybe four seconds, but there is so much packed into that miniscule screentime.
Let’s start with the fact that the guy is even there. The whole premise of the ad is obviously silly, with parents selling the naming rights to their kids. But having one of the naming rights buyers actually there in the audience, applauding their new namesake, while also shilling their business to the crowd … well, it puts a human face on the concept. Instead of just rolling our eyes at the parents who’d do something so bizarre for money, it forces us to ask: what sort of business owner would even want to give them this deal?
And it’s amazing how the ad answers that question, ’cause all it has to do is give us one glance at this guy.
Obviously, there’s those big ol’ reverse-racoon tan lines around the eyes, showing that owner of Oasis Breeze Tan and Spa doesn’t even know how to get a tan that looks good. Add in how the guy’s balding and overweight, and has a fashion sense that thinks gold bracelets and necklaces go well with a company-logo polo shirt, and it’s clear: this guy has no business promoting any sort of business, let alone one that’s supposed to provide health and beauty.
So the fact that the guy is still there in person at the graduation, and has that “If you need a tan, I’m your man” catchphrase ready to go, as though they’ve done stuff like this hundreds of time before – it conveys immediately that this is not simply a business owner who makes a bad spokesperson, but one who is woefully blind to that fact and insists on being a spokesperson anyway.
This is all capped off with favorite detail of the whole smorgasbord, with how their voice gives out a little before they can even finish the “I’m your man” part of the catchphrase. It subtly yet powerfully conveys that this is a fellow who’s falling apart – physically or emotionally, I’m not sure, but either way … I mean, it can’t be good for business.
All these details, packed into those four seconds, lend so much more power to the ad’s central joke. Now it’s not just that selling your kids’ naming rights is a wackadoodle way to make some money – it’s that you can’t even get a good buyer for the naming rights. Realistically, the only corporation that’d agree to such a nutso scheme would be desperate corporation, a sorely mismanaged corporation, a corporation on the verge of collapse …
A corporation like Oasis Breeze Tan and Spa.