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Seinfeld, Season Five, Episode Three, “The Glasses”

George loses his glasses and claims to have seen Jerry’s girlfriend kissing his cousin, sending Jerry on an investigation. Elaine gets bitten by a dog and becomes convinced she has rabies. Kramer gets Jerry a discount on an air conditioner and tries to get George a discount on new glasses.

Written by: Tom Gammill & Max Ross
Directed by: Tom Cherones

Sometimes you get an episode that’s just really good. I was thinking about halfway through that Jerry is absolutely on fire (“I don’t know what to tell ya, Elton.”), but this is also an episode that flows very naturally. Everything here connects in odd but funny ways, and it speed through in a way previous seasons wouldn’t – I didn’t notice anyone stopping to explain the plot because the dialogue was crackling and absurd; I love that Kramer wanders through everyone else’s plots in his own absurd little way.

George’s glasses give the episode its title, and this works well as an expression of a fear every glasses owner must have; the fact that George’s glasses weren’t stolen but were just left on his locker is such a great final touch, because I’ve done exactly this a million times. With George in particular, to riff on Hanlon’s Razor, he shouldn’t assume the malice of others when his own stupidity is a more likely explanation. This also extends into his absolute belief in Jerry’s girlfriend cheating on him. One thing about George is that even if you’re the kind of person convinced you’ve never made a mistake in your life, you can relate people you know to him. This must surely have contributed to the show’s massive success.

George tries following up on Kramer’s suggestion of getting a discount, and I suspect those of us who don’t regularly get what my fellow Australians refer to as ‘mate’s rates’ think this is probably how it would actually go, where namedropping accomplishes nothing but embarrassment. Kramer’s part in this plot is so funny to me; he’s practically channelling every mob guy in every crime film threatening to break the legs of a guy not paying his loan. If George is every stupid impulse that crosses our brains, Kramer is every bit of our will.

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