Teleplay: Peter Mehlman
Story: Peter Mehlman and Peter Farrelly & Robert Farrelly
Directed by: Tom Cherones
This is always the one I like to point to as a demonstration of how Seinfeld isn’t quite as mean as its reputation – rather, it’s genuinely nihilistic. Any other show – especially of this time – would present an adult virgin as an object of mockery, and there may perhaps be rare shows that present her as an object of sympathy and pity; either way, we’d get an explanation for why she’s a virgin at her age, whether to mock her for it or try and fix it. But people on Seinfeld don’t exist to be fixed or mocked, and they certainly don’t exist to be explained; Marla is simply a different set of behaviours to pass through and set the group in motion.
(I have brought this up with people before and had it pointed out to me that a male adult virgin may have gotten a different reaction, which is a fair point)
I particularly enjoy Elaine being horrified that she may have embarrassed this woman, which I feel is a clear example of the group being morally neutral; there are times they can be cruel, but it’s clear they at least will make the effort to be decent people. Elaine stressing over the fact that she may have come across as anti-virgin is especially funny to me, coming off almost but not quite as a parody of politically correct thinking. A fundamental structural thought for Seinfeld is that there’s behaviours you’re supposed to be doing, and this assumption drives so much of the comedic chaos.
Speaking of structural thoughts, we get a particularly absurd expression of George’s thinking here. On paper, George has exactly what he is ‘supposed’ to want – a theoretically cool job that theoretically pays well and a woman in love with him – and, like Don Draper, he’s still unhappy and still trying to make everything perfect. As I’ve said many times, I believe George simply wants to be comfortable and tends to chase every single perceived inconvenience or slight as if it were a threat to him personally, but now I wonder if he also simply enjoys the scheming for its own sake. Either way, of course, he can’t fully admit that to himself.
I also really enjoy the big dialogue he and Jerry have over whether or not he has the right to date other women. Firstly, because their weird logic actually makes a kind of sense – love seeing George’s face fall when he realises they have an implied date Saturday night – but also because it’s a classic case of the characters missing the forest for the trees. They’re putting their full intelligence into rationalising what they feel George is supposed to be doing instead of whether or not he even wants what he’s talking about. Maybe have this conversation with Susan, George.
TOPICS O’ THE WEEK
- Marla is a professional closet organiser, another aspect you’d imagine would be more mocked on another show – the furthest this gets is Jerry using it to get close to her. I think of this as one of the small positive aspects of capitalism; a small niche that’s incredibly useful if you don’t know where to start with it.
- Seinfeld gets a lot of flak for his acting, but this has so many Jerry lines that he delivers perfectly. My favourite is “Yes, I was very wise to hitch my wagon to his star…”
- The butler story is so funny to me as an example of exactly what this show does not do. I’m always a sucker for that kind of mild meta commentary; it’s not that the show doesn’t have wacky shenanigans or schtick – look at the creepy clown last week – but they’re much more imaginative than that.
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