You are now entering Ad Space, a realm of commercials, brought before us so we might examine how they work, and discuss why we both love and hate them so. So it is written …
The Product:
Segway people movers
The Promotion:
The Pitch:
We were wrong about flying cars, we were wrong about moving sidewalks, we were wrong about hoverboards, but dammit, Segways really are gonna take off – you’ll see!
Lately, we’ve spotlighted a couple ads trying to get hesitant consumers to try out the new technologies of cryptocurrency and AI software – a big push to convince folks these inventions are here to stay and will help you immeasurably in every facet of your life. Given that, I thought it would be fun to look at another ad hyping up a new piece of technology … from twenty years ago. A piece of technology that has since been discontinued, and is remembered chiefly as that thing GOB Bluth would ride around on looking like a tool.
This ad is just brimming with unfounded arrogance (or, if you’re being polite, optimism). I mean, I’ve never used a Segway, but the claim that it gives you more agility than walking is sus as hell. And comparing the rollout of Segways to what Henry Ford did with automobiles in the 20th Century, they’re just begging to fall humiliatingly short.
Plus, all the shots showing Segways becoming a part of everyday life … I’m sorry, they just look goofy to me! Two people on Segways just stopping to chat. Folks hitching up wagons to their Segways. Some guy rushing down a hallway on their Segway while a guy on foot has to run to keep up. A horde of Segway riders disgorging from an elevator. I can’t not laugh!
The ad closes by saying, “We have a solution (…) and that’s a really big deal”, and maybe it’s just the benefit of hindsight here, but: No. You did not solve anything, and it was never a big deal.
Like, I don’t know why those electric scooters seem so much better than Segways, but they just do.