New Game Releases 09/26/23 – 10/02/23

Welcome, once again, to New Game Releases, the best thing to happen to Tuesday since the 1845 federal law decreed that elections must happen on the first Tuesday following the first Monday in November. Yeah, I get political in here. Uh…something about Trump…uh, he’s bad. BOOM! Political humor. Anyway, here’s a video I did, check it out before you dive into the article:

Things are fairly slow this week, with our top game being the new expansion for Cyberpunk 2077, Phantom Liberty. Set during (or after, or whenever…) the events of Cyberpunk 2077, players return as the cyber-enhanced mercenary known as V, this time they get to hang out with Idris Elba, who plays a shadowy secret agent, as they try to save the President of the NUSA. Of course, you’ll have all kinds of choices to make when it comes to how, or even if, you save the President. Oh, and yes, Keanu will be there. Why? Because he loves you!

Cyberpunk 2077: Phantom Liberty (PC/PS5/Series X|S) – Releases Sep. 26^th

Developed by: CD Projekt Red
Published by: CD Projekt Red

If cyber punking isn’t your thing then I guess check out one of the two life sim games coming out this week, Harvest Moon: The Winds of Anthos or Mineko’s Night Market. Of course you all know what Harvest Moon is, it’s a farming sim where you grow crops, raise livestock, get married, and FUCK (probably). Long time readers probably already know this, as I bring it up every time, but Harvest Moon is not the series that you grew up with in the 90’s, no, that series is called Story of Seasons and those still come out on a regular basis. These Harvest Moon games, while full fledged releases, are a new series that uses the old name. Probably not a ton of difference, but just wanted to give a heads up.

Mineko’s Night Market will have, I assume, far less fucking than Harvest Moon, as you take on the role of a young woman named Mineko who, well, sells items that she crafts at a night market. Of course, there’s all kinds of strange, supernatural things going on in the small Japanese village you call home, and there are, like, WAY, WAY too many cats. I mean, is that a bad thing, though?

Harvest Moon: The Winds of Anthos (PC/PS4/PS5/Switch/Xbox One/Series X|S) – Releases Sep. 26^th

Developed by: Natsume Inc.
Published by: Natsume Inc.

Mineko’s Night Market (PC/Switch) – Releases Sep. 26^th

Developed by: Meowza Games
Published by: Humble Games

For you anime nerds, you know who you are, we’ve got the Dynasty Warriors inspired Fate/Samurai Remnant, as well as Infinty Strash: Dragon Quest – The Adventure of Dai, which is based on the manga/anime of the same name. That’s all I’ve got. If you need more than that you can check out the trailers below.

Fate/Samurai Remnant (PC/PS4/Switch) – Releases Sep. 28^th

Developed by: Koei Tecmo
Published by: Koei Tecmo

Infinity Strash: Dragon Quest – The Adventure of Dai (PC/PS4/PS5/Switch/Series X|S) – Releases Sep. 28^th

Developed by: Square Enix/GameStudio Inc./Kai Graphics Inc.
Published by: Square Enix

Finally, our last two games couldn’t be more different from one another. First we have Cocoon, a brand new puzzle platformer from the lead designer of Limbo and Inside. Both of those games have a high pedigree, so Cocoon might just be one of the year’s best, and artistic, games. On the other end of the spectrum we have a game that is far removed from art and sits neatly into the “bro” category, EA Sports FC 24. If you’re curious, “FC” stands for “football club”, which is another name for “soccer team”. Why not call it FIFA, like they used to? Well, that’s because EA and FIFA had a falling out and they lost the license to the FIFA name. No matter, EA signed deals with a bunch of football leagues around the world and put out the same game they always do, just under a different title. See, not so confusing, right? Anyway, you probably stopped reading this three sentences ago, so now I say what I REALLY think about the COVID-19 vaccine. You see…

Cocoon (PC/PS4/PS5/Switch/Xbox One/Series X|S) – Releases Sep. 29^th

Developed by: Geometric Interactive
Published by: Annapurna Interactive

EA Sports FC 24 (PC/PS4/PS5/Switch/Xbox One/Series X|S) – Releases Sep. 29^th

Developed by: EA Canada/EA Romania
Published by: EA

Everything else:

If you’re wondering why Disney Speedstorm is listed here, despite having released back in April, that is because the game is now out of early access and fully available to the public.

• Paleo Pines (PC/PS4/PS5/Switch/Xbox One/Series X|S) – Releases Sep. 26^th
• Disney Speedstorm (PC/PS4/PS5/Switch/Xbox One/Series X|S) – Releases Sep. 28^th
• PAW Patrol World (PC/PS4/PS5/Switch/Xbox One/Series X|S) – Releases Sep. 29^th

Notable Releases from 10, 20, and 30 years ago:

It’s time for notable titles, your favorite part of the column every week, I assume, becuse you get to hear about why Huey Lewis and the News’ music probably inspired John Travolta to be in Pulp Fiction, which carries thematic elements with all of the games made by Hideo Kojima, or whatever weird thread I can tie together with all of these absolutely unrelated pieces of pop culture.

Our first notable title, 2013’s Rune Factory 4 is kind of related to one of our new releases this week (see!), as the franchise began as a spin-off of Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons. By the third game in the series, all the Story of Seasons references had been removed, however, the core elements of farming, livestock raising, and marriage remained. Still, the series was all unto itself and was set apart due it its dungeon crawling aspect, that gave the game more of an RPG feel. In this entry, there was a heavy focus on the romantic portion of the game (finally, we get to the fucking), helping to set Rune Factory 4 apart from its predecessors. The game was a surprise smash hit, selling well above the expectations of the publisher, helping to cement the franchise’s future, with a 5th entry releasing in 2021, and a 6th releasing “soon”.

If I’m being honest, I don’t really care about this week’s 20 year old release, and neither did the general public. I’m talking about one of 2003’s biggest flops, the Nokia N-Gage. Boasted as the world’s first cellphone/video game console hybrid, the N-Gage was supposed to be the “Game Boy” killer, as had already been attempted by many a company before them (Sega, Atari, Tiger), but it was, instead, criticized for being awkward to use and mocked for looking like a taco. It wasn’t without publisher support, as several high profile companies released games for the platform, including Sega, Activision, EA, Eidos, Ubisoft (of course), and maybe most bizarrely, Bethesda, who put out an exclusive Elder Scrolls game on the device, called Shadowkey. Despite a redesign in 2004 that made the N-Gage more attractive looking and easier to use, it just couldn’t compete with Nintendo’s GBA and was utterly destroyed by Nintendo’s next handheld, also released in 2004, the DS.

Rounding out our notable game for the week is 1993’s NHL ’94, one of those rare sports titles that becomes a cultural touchstone that sees players of all fandom’s uniting behind it. What made NHL ’94 unique over EA’s previous hockey games was that, for the first time, the developer had the rights to BOTH the NHL and the NHL Players Association, meaning you could have real teams AND real players. We live in a world today where the smallest detail of every player in every sport is hand molded and their stats perfectly calibrated to real life, when we used to just be content that a pixel sprite named “Gretzky” was on the LA Kings. The success of NHL ’94 was clearly formative for many of the young filmmakers of the 90’s, with varous EA NHL titles appearing in films like Mallrats (Hartford? The Whale!) and Swingers (Mikey! Look, his head is bleeding!). EA would put out quasi re-releases over the years, usually removing teams and/or players, or updating the rosters to match the current season. Honestly, this is one of the best video games ever made, there’s just something magical about these EA hockey games on Genesis and SNES , they found (Tampa Bay) lightning in a bottle.

We already brought up a couple movies, but let’s quickly go over this week’s notable film releases. 2013 gave us Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s directorial debut Don Jon, about a porn obsessed body builder that FUCKS every chance he gets, who tries to find true love with Scarlett Johansson. The catch…she doesn’t FUCK unless she is in a committed relationship…UH OH! Hilarity ensues. Next we have 2003’s The Rundown from another actor turned director, Peter Berg (look him up), and starring WWE superstar Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. However, while The Rock is the bigger star today, it was likely American Pie’s Seann William Scott that was supposed to drive audiences to the action/adventure film. Alas, it was a box office bomb, despite rave reviews from critics, but would find a second life on the fairly new DVD format, which was just starting to take off in North America.

Our 1993 notable film is one of my all-time favorite movies, Richard Linklater’s masterpiece Dazed and Confused. Like The Rundown, Dazed and Confused was a commercial failure, grossing less than $8 million dollars worldwide. However, the film found its audience when it hit home video in March of 1994, becoming a bona-fide hit among the teens who could finally watch it at home. Linklater’s grasp of teenage life was, to him, a kind of inverse of the John Hughes type of teenage life. He remembered high school drama being more about “should we get Aerosmith tickets” and less about kids getting pregnant, getting into car crashes, or the sad girl falling in love with the rich boy. I have fond memories of watching this with my dad (stepdad, I guess, whatever, you don’t need my life story), who was himself a teenager during the same time and place as Dazed and Confused, Texas in the late 1970’s. Dazed and Confused is better than any of the notable games, movies, or albums from this week, so give it a watch if you’ve never gotten around to it. I strongly recommend it.

Oh boy, the notable music. Well, Lorde pretty much ruled 2013 with her hit single “Royals”, it was everywhere and you could not escape it. 2003 saw the release of a concept album by the pop-punk band The Lawrence Arms. They weren’t the most well known punk group of the era, but I thought their concept album, The Greatest Story Ever Told, was noteworthy enough to highlight. Kind of, sort of a faux history of the band, the group refer to themselves under false names, such as Gordon Shumway (ALF’s real name), Ferdinand Magellan, and Bronson Pinchot. Put out by Fat Wreck Chords, the label’s founder, and bassist for NOFX, Fat Mike, was apparently not a big fan of the album and “hated it”, though his appreciation grew over time. Give it a listen.

Our final notable album of the week is another big 1993 release, Adam Sandler’s first comedy album, They’re All Gonna Laugh At You!. While it was lambasted by critics when it initially released, the album became a smash hit with, you guessed it, Frank Stallone teenagers, who propelled the album to Double Platinum status (over 2 million copies sold). In 1993, Sandler wasn’t the household name he is today, having only been on SNL since 1991, and he was still two years away from his breakthrough film Billy Madison (and his subsequent firing from SNL). It was this kinda/sorta anonymity that allowed Sandler to put out the foulest, filthiest, borderline pornographic album that made mothers across America clutch their pearls, and their teenage sons & daughters laugh their asses off. I was STRICTLY forbidden from listening to Sandler’s album when I was 12 (but “Rape Me” by Nirvana was okay…), so I could only hear bits & pieces at a friend’s house who had the cassette tape. The album is unavailable on Spotify but you can find bits on YouTube, so I gave it a listen. Holy shit.

I knew it would be filthy, but I didn’t realize just how filthy. The opening track is “Assistant Principal’s Big Day” which is a skit in which a high school assistant principal is given the temporary role of head principal while his superior is out sick. Things start off as banal as you might expect, he reads off a few new boring rules, but then it turns into a long string of obscene rules regarding how the teenage students should perform sexual acts on one another while he sits back and masturbates. I didn’t guffaw at these jokes, nor was I really offended, but I was certainly shocked. Growing up, I only had one track from this album, burned to a CD for me by a friend. It was called “The Beating of a High School Janitor”, and is 30 seconds of, as you can imagine, a group of students beating the shit out of their high school janitor, with the jokes being all of the ridiculous sound effects of him being pummeled and thrown into a glass case full of trophies. I didn’t realize that this was part of a running gag on the album in which other high school faculty are beat up, including the Spanish teacher and the bus driver.

While the album’s humor wasn’t something that most adults over a certain age could appreciate, it was filled with a list of “who’s who” in today’s comedy world, with sketches and songs written by Sandler, Rob Schneider, Tim Herlihy, Ian-Maxtone Graham, Robert Smigel, Bob Odenkirk, and Conan O’Brien. Find the tracks on YouTube, give them a listen, and maybe give your mom a hug for keeping you pure for just a little bit longer in your youth by forbidding Adam Sandler’s They’re All Gonna Laugh At You!.

Rune Factory 4 (3DS) – Released Oct. 1^st, 2013: Wiki Link

N-Gage w/Pandemonium, Puyo Pop, Puzzle Bobble VS, Sonic N, Super Monkey Ball, Tomb Raider, and Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater – Released Oct. 7^th, 2003: Wiki Link

NHL ‘94 (Genesis/SNES) – Released Oct. 1993: Wiki Link

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