The Amazing Bulk is a 2012 mockbuster that was meant to cash in on The Incredible Hulk–a movie that had come out four years earlier, so they were kind of late. Anyway, it’s about a scientist or something, he does an experiment, things go wrong, and I dunno, he turns into “the Bulk” and causes all kinds of chaos as a giant naked purple creature who just sort of lumbers around aimlessly and occasionally destroys something whenever he isn’t jogging. And there’s an evil baron or something who wants to destroy the world, and his henchwoman is also his prostitute maybe, and they make a whole bunch of sex jokes.
It’s one of those “films” that is “trying to be bad”–which is why it has a reputation for being completely obnoxious. It even tried to sell itself as “The Room of superhero movies” in an attempt to appeal to audiences who deliberately seek out terrible cinema, which makes the whole thing feel even more cynical than mockbusters normally do. It’s also infamous for the “filmmakers” spending much of their budget buying clip-art props, which they insist over and over again on the audio commentary (yes, the DVD has a commentary) was something they “had to do” because they didn’t have much money.
Anyway, the movie does have one glorious bad moment, the kind that I wish represented the rest of the film, but alas does not. This is one case where I don’t think they were trying to be bad, but were just trying to introduce Not General Thunderbolt Ross as a cranky old bastard who wants control over everything in his life–including dust. This guy hates dust like Anakin Skywalker hates sand. And he lets those around him know it.
The folks behind The Amazing Bulk seem to be under the delusion that its become something of a cult classic, and while what I’ve seen does have some laughs (I haven’t actually watched the whole thing…yet), this was clearly a passion project minus the passion. But hey, that didn’t stop a “sequel” from being written in the form of a book which you’ve never heard of. That’s right, on Amazon, you can buy something called The Return of the Amazing Bulk, because why the fuck not, but the plot summary has a lack of references to hating dust, so why the hell should I care? Also, I love how they non-ironically proclaim the movie “an action-packed hit” here…
“THE PURPLE PUNISHER IS BACK! Young scientist Hank Howard has a dark secret…when he loses control of his emotions, he becomes the enormous, unstoppable Amazing Bulk! Hank views the purple monstrosity as a curse, a hindrance to his happiness with Hannah, his bride-to-be. Having survived his battle with the insidious Dr. Kantlove, he seeks to rid himself of his gargantuan alter ego. But when the sinister Pam Demic and her army of minions threaten the world, Hank must decide his destiny…before the world coughs itself to death! This exciting superhero novel continues the tale of 2012’s action-packed hit, The Amazing Bulk, from director Lewis Schoenbrun and writers Keith Schaffner and Jeremiah Campbell.”
I’m not sure if anyone has actually sat down and read this book. It has a grand total of zero ratings on Amazon, which has some excerpts available, and show that it is horrendously written (I expect better quality from someone called “Atom Mudman Bezecny!”). And again, no mention of dust. Zero stars out of a hundred.
Have a great night, Avocados! And may your house NOT be taken over by dust bunnies!
