Kramer discovers the strike at his workplace is over. Elaine accidentally gives away her sub stamp card when she gives away a fake number to an annoying guy at a party, and yes, I know that’s a nonsensical description out of context. Jerry dates a woman who looks drastically different in different lighting. George makes up a phoney charity to get out of giving Christmas presents. George’s father brings back a holiday he made up.
Written by: Dan O’Keefe and Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer
Directed by: Andy Ackerman
Can you believe Festivus itself takes up only one scene of the episode? Now granted, it is spoken of through “The Strike”, but the actual event itself is only the final scene! Every now and again, an artist will get a magnificent spark of inspiration, and if they have a strong, disciplined process, it turns a great idea into something larger than life. Festivus, as we all know, was based on a real tradition that writer Dan O’Keefe saw his father create; this, already, is a neat idea for an episode (my family did something similar, actually, when I was a kid). What helps here is that he knows the characters and world of Seinfeld so well that he could easily adapt it. One of the fundamental pillars of Seinfeld is that George is to be humiliated, for one thing, and so the ‘traditions’ are based around Frank doing exactly that – berating him, even physically manhandling him. As Elaine points out, this explains so much about George; the constant, unbearable humiliation that makes him so paranoid. It’s also just well-structured in how it’s both seeded throughout the episode like a spectre and brings together all four other plots; it’s a reflection of the machine that makes up Seinfeld.
I don’t normally analyse a single line so intently, but I’m particularly struck by the line Frank uses to explain Festivus: “Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realised there had to be another way.” What makes this particularly funny is the poetry of “As I rained blows upon him,” which skips over the initiation into violence that makes it feel as logical and natural as it did to Frank Costanza; there is no specific connection between his anger and the violence, as Frank would never stop to consider whether violence in pursuit of Christmas presents is necessary. There is an efficiency to a good Seinfeld line, conveying the most detail in the fewest words.
The eponymous strike is another bit of meta-work from late-era Seinfeld, answering the question of what Kramer actually does for a living and why he seems out of work; I particularly love that we never get an explanation of who tells him the strike is over, and they seem completely disconnected from the actual workforce the job had. I know it’s just a bit of a narrative cheat so that Kramer’s boss is as confused by him as everyone else, but it also implies a very funny offscreen world for Kramer. His particular approach to protest is amusing too – very much rooted in the masculine archetypes he generally deals in.
George’s actual plot is some classic Seinfeld, dealing as it does with a typical workplace social etiquette problem; granted, this crosses the line into fraud, but it’s also generally puzzling why you’d get Christmas presents for coworkers. Again, there’s just the neat touches in the writing; the Human Fund is so close to sounding real while also sounding suspicious, as is its slogan (“Money for people”). Meanwhile, Elaine’s plot starts in a similar place – giving a fake phone number and collecting notches on a sandwich card – but goes in another direction, piling absurdity upon absurdity as she tries to get out of it.
TOPICS O’ THE WEEK
- “So, Whatley’s still Jewish, huh?” / “Uh, sure, without the parents, it’s a breeze.”
- “Hi, I’m Jerry.” / “Hi.” / “You might not know it to look at me, but I can run really, really fast.”
- Kevin Macdonald! It occurs to me how little the show gives actors; he really stands out in the opening scenes, where he uses his rubber face to convey attraction from a distance.
- “Oh, and another piece of the puzzle falls into place!” Magnificent delivery from JLD.
- “Are you reading my VCR manual?” / “Well we can’t all be reading the classic, Professor Highbrow!” I forgot there’s literally no context for this.
- “You?” / “Worked?” / “Bagels?”
- “Well, it kind of makes you wonder what it was all for.”
- “Those are raisen bagels.” / “I never thought I’d live to see the day.”
- “The Human Fund. Money for people.” / “What do you think?” / “It has a certain understated stupidity.” / “The Outlaw Josey Wales!” / “… Yeah.”
- “Is there a captain’s hat involved in this?” / “Maybe.”
- “I find tinsel distracting.”
- “You don’t need glasses, you’re just weak – you’re weak!”
- “What did you do?” / “You’ve been warned.”
- “Oh damn, I’ve locked myself out of my office again. Alright, I’m going home.”
- “You wanna give something back, start with that twenty thousand dollars.”
- “First thing I’m gonna need is a driver.”
- I’m just gonna say it and move on: steamed up Elaine is hot.
- “I find your belief system fascinating.”
- “I got a lot of problems with you people, and now you’re gonna hear about it!” Why do people actually do Festivus in reality? Legitimately, there seems no good outcome.
- “You couldn’t smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe… I lost my train of thought.”
Biggest Laugh:
Next Week: “The Dealership”