Shrek opened on this day 25 years ago. I was originally going to talk about that, but since WordPress hates me and I’ve finally gotten it to work past two in the morning as I type this, I’m going to have to wait on that. A proper Shrek header requires many layers. So instead let’s focus on, I dunno, a stupid thing I’m 99.9% certain I’ve already done a header on, but I can’t find it to prove myself right, so in the 0.1% chance I’ve never covered the most “memorable” line from Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, well, I’m scratching it off my bucket list now.
Now, amazingly, I hadn’t even seen this movie until just a few days ago. Having absolutely loved Mortal Kombat II in theaters, I was eager for some more kombat kinema, so I booted it up on HBO Max…and was shocked to learn this iconic scene happens almost immediately. Spoiler alert for a shitty sequel which is nearly 30 years old, but Annihilation wastes no time in sucking, killing off Johnny Fucking Cage within the first five minutes or so. And yeah, Kitana’s dead mother shows up, and Kitana is very surprised to learn she’s alive and begins to question how that’s even possible, but that’s too bad, because Kitana…will die! Or, well, at least that’s what her dead mother wants to happen. If you want to find out if she makes good on that promise you’ll have to watch the film yourself (or just, I dunno, look it up online, that’s probably easier).
This quote has obviously become the defining moment of Annihilation. It’s the one clip from it everyone has seen, and many people probably don’t even know what it’s from. That’s quite an accomplishment when you consider just how fucking stupid Annihilation is. Have you seen Raiden’s “mortal makeover” in this? HAVE YOU???? When modern audiences are more preoccupied with a deceased mother’s declaration of how unfortunate it is that her daughter will prematurely perish than they are with a scene where this happens, you’ve knocked it out of the park on the bad movie meter.
Have a kool day, y’all! Also, for those wondering, yes, I would watch Mortal Kombat: Annihilation again without any hesitation.