Elaine buys a bike she always wanted, only to hurt her neck in the process; Kramer gives her help in exchange for the bike, causing a rift that can only be healed by Newman. Meanwhile, Kramer decides to keep a tab with Jerry over his stuff. George wants to name his future child Seven, only for a friend to steal the name. Jerry dates a woman who seems to be wearing the same dress all the time.
Written by: Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer
Directed by: Andy Ackerman
The interesting thing about this episode is how all of the plots can be described in the same two ways. The first is that they’re all the absolute minimum amount of creativity you need to get the story going. Elaine’s is the most complex here, with the bike and the neck injury leading into the King Solomon thing, but they’re all otherwise extremely simple ideas. The second is that none of these things are technically illegal or wrong, even as they feel wrong. I was particularly thinking this when Jerry was obsessing over Christie’s dress; there’s no reason she can’t wear the same dress all the time, but it feels wrong and weird. This became especially relevant when George started chasing his friends as they were going to the hospital for the wife to give birth; George is taking advantage of the Air Bud clause, which says there ain’t no rule that says you can’t follow a couple in their car all the way to the hospital to argue their choice of name (right up to the doors of the delivery room, where there is very much a rule).
These tie together to make what could be a weakness – lack of originality – into a massive strength. Seinfeld is heightened but weirdly plausible; it feels like, if someone did wear the same dress every day, this is how it would play out in reality, which paradoxically makes it feel more absurd, which is hilarious. You may or may not point out to someone that they’ve been wearing the same clothes every day (the picture of her in 1992 wearing it is where it becomes comic sublime), but you would definitely obsess over the weirdness of it and want to figure out why and how. You watch how George or Christie act, and you’re like, I guess you could do that?
A thing that really gets me here as well is how Jerry and George discuss her possible motivations at first; that she may have done her washing and moved the dress through the rotation faster. This is another way the show is really about the collision between the human mind and modernity; Jerry and George may be idiots, but they have complexity of mind that they’re bringing to life of convenience and ease. I happen to prefer living in the convenience of modern life, but you can see how this complexity can collide with comfort to create neuroticism through Seinfeld.
TOPICS O’ THE WEEK
- “It’s much easier to be a bastard and just try and match the colours up.”
- “You know, the only way to really help her is to just let her be.” Entire characters have been created out of this line and the smugness Seinfeld (comedian) brings to it.
- “Well, so, legally, I could marry your daughter.”
- “But it took him like ten seconds!” / “Well, that’s the most he’s worked in the last four months.”
- “Alright, let’s just stay calm here! Don’t get all crazy on me!”
- In a lot of ways, George was far ahead of his time when it came to giving children absurd names. Obviously this doesn’t go as far as predicting the Kaeyleighs or even Khaleesis of the world, but I have noticed a strong uptick in ‘creative’ names even outside that, so that Seven barely registers.
- Kramer trying to hold himself accountable is one of those elements that makes him a lovable character; he genuinely wants to do good in this world. It also makes his attempts to hold Elaine accountable to her word even funnier. Integrity is a morally neutral principle.
- “Is this your half a can of soda in the fridge?” / “No, it’s yours. My half is gone.”
- Great moments in blocking: Kramer’s wild gestures indicating where he considers everyone morally, and Elaine slamming a door in his way so he crashes into it with his bike.
- Also have to give it up for Wayne Knight’s joy when his coco is ready.
- Profound moments with George Costanza: “Please! I have so little!”
- “Well, I don’t have this kind of cash.” / “Few do.” Another iconic moment, especially for memers.
Biggest Laugh: Newman’s kingly entitlement is how a lot of AITA threads come off to me.
Next Week: “The Cadillac”