A group of bandits seek to drive a priest (John Mills) out of their Mexican village. The bandit leader (Dirk Bogarde) gains a grudging respect for his earnest opponent. Just when they’ve made peace a spirited woman (Mylène Demongeot) comes between them. The Singer Not the Song is a homoerotic British Western. Director Roy Ward Baker brought English and French actors to Spain to play Mexicans. He let the dialects fall where they may. Add some brown face makeup and you’ve a recipe for disaster.
Dirk Bogarde knew he was in a bomb and went rogue. He squeezed into some tailored leather pants and leaned into the comedy. His flirty bandit is clearly in love with the priest and railing against what he cannot have. The result is a delicious performance in an otherwise bland film.
Let’s take a closer look in this spoiler filled recap.
Act One: New Boy in Town
Scene One: A Church in Quantana, Mexico
PRIEST: I’m Father Keogh. Your new priest.
OLD PRIEST: Careful. Anacleto Comachi, the bandit king, hates the Catholic Church. (Leaves town.)
BANDIT: (Wearing tight leather pants.) Quite. We don’t need you here.
PRIEST: I want to save your soul.
BANDIT: That’s hot.
Scene Two: Town Square
PRIEST: Since you’re all afraid to come to church, I’ll come to you. Let us kneel in prayer.
(The townsfolk scatter when the Bandit and his outlaws arrive.)
BANDIT: Already on your knees?
(An outlaw throws a knife at the Priest. He catches it in his bible.)
BANDIT: Stop that you naughty boys. We don’t want a martyr. But if you don’t leave, I’ll murder the townsfolk in alphabetical order like an Agatha Christie villain.
PRIEST: How do I stop this man without resorting to violence?
Act Two: Confession
Scene Three: Bandit Lair
DRUNKEN OUTLAW: I brought the Priest here to confess my sins.
BANDIT: You fool. The Priest will tell the Sheriff of our crimes!
DRUNKEN OUTLAW: Then I’ll kill him!
(Drunken Outlaw attacks the Priest. Bandit shoots the Drunken Outlaw.)
BANDIT: What’s become of me? I couldn’t let him hurt that beautiful man.
SHERIFF: We finally caught you in the act.
PRIEST: It wasn’t his fault, Sheriff. He was protecting me. And any confessions I heard were confidential.
BANDIT: Being a good person looks exhausting.
Scene Four: Wedding Bells
HEIRESS: Bonjour monsieur. I am, how you say, a Mexican heiress. Oui? My papa wants me to marry a rich man. But I love another.
PRIEST: Bandit, she must be in love with you. Please talk some sense into her.
BANDIT: (Stroking a cat with leather gloves.) We know better, don’t we Kitty? She’s in love with the Priest. We can relate.
HEIRESS: Quel dommage! I am discovered!
(She jilts her groom at the altar and flees with the Bandit.)
Act Three: Blackmail
Scene Five: Sunday Mass
BANDIT: The girl is my prisoner. I’ll release her if you tell your congregation that I’m a good person.
PRIEST: My dear parishioners I would ask you to forgive this Bandit…
HEIRESS: Stop! The Priest sent the Sheriff to rescue me. Je suis libre!
PRIEST: … if he weren’t a blaspheming, murdering MONSTER!
BANDIT: Damn you. I spit on your church. Ptooie!
Scene Six: Recantation
(A chase! Police shoot the Bandit. An outlaw shoots the Priest. The Priest falls on top of the Bandit.)
PRIEST: My friend you must ask God for his forgiveness.
BANDIT: No.
PRIEST: Please! Squeeze my hand if you recant.
(Bandit reluctantly squeezes the Priest’s hand. The Priest smiles and dies.)
BANDIT: I love the singer. Not the song. (Bandit dies.)
THE END
I Wanna Hold Your Hand
“Dirk did not want John Mills to play the priest, and said to me, ‘I promise you, if Johnny plays the priest I will make life unbearable for everyone concerned.’ Well, he was as good as his word and he succeeded.”
Roy Ward Baker, Director
I played the bandit like Gloria Swanson in Queen Kelly, which at least gave me a laugh.”
Dirk Bogarde, Actor
The film has a sluggish 132-minute run time. It drags whenever Bogarde is off screen. Critics enjoyed mocking the work. It’s too dull to call it a camp classic. But the finale is surprisingly heartfelt. The romantic subtext was already there. Bogarde’s choice to embrace it makes the film more interesting.
You can read my recap of Victim, a superior Dirk Bogarde film, here. You can find more of my reviews on The Avocado, Letterboxd and Serializd. My podcast, Rainbow Colored Glasses, can be found here.