Hello, guys. Like many of you, I grew up watching Sesame Street, and never in my wildest dreams thought it could ever be disturbing. I used to hear stories online about how the older episodes could get kind of freaky, but never actually believed them. How foolish I was! Because one night, years ago, I accidentally came across an episode of Sesame Street that I don’t think I was ever meant to see! I’ve been afraid of telling anyone about it up until now, but for personal reasons, I think it’s time the world knew the truth! Sesame Workshop has done everything within their evil power to keep me silent–including sending me death threats–but no more!
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On October 31st, 2020, I had just finished watching an episode of Scooby-Doo on DVD and was trying to find a way to calm down. The COVID-19 pandemic was all anyone talked about, so I was wearing a mask 24/7, even inside the house. So I was pretty freaked out, especially since it was Halloween. I decided to absentmindedly channel surf, when I was surprised to find that Sesame Street was on. I was very surprised because it was very late at night and I didn’t think that Sesame Street was normally shown at 3:00 in the morning! But there was something very weird about it that I immediately noticed, and it wasn’t just the abnormal time slot.
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As the episode began, the first thing I noticed was that there was no Sesame Street theme song! This was very weird, and for some reason started to creep me out. I even took my mask off just so I could take a deep breath! On the screen was the Sesame Street sign, and there was no music. It was just the Sesame Street sign, at night, for a very long time. Using my fingers to count the seconds, I was shocked to find out that it went on like that for 666 seconds! I almost felt compelled to call the police, even though I was just watching a TV show. But then it got even WEIRDER!
The camera slowly went into Bert and Ernie’s apartment. I felt a sense of relief, because Bert and Ernie were two of my favorite characters, and always gave me the giggles. This ended up being a false sense of relief, however, as there on the floor, very clearly dead, was Bert! BERT WAS DEAD! And it looked like he had been dead for a long time since his yellow flesh was decaying. At first I didn’t believe my eyes! It must have been my dirty sense of humor getting the better of me! Bert had to be asleep! But then Ernie showed up, behind Bert, and began playing his drum set. After doing so for another 666 SECONDS, he began singing a jolly song.
You are dead
Really dead
Well I don’t care if you are dead
If you’re dead
I don’t mind it
That’s what friends are for!
He kept singing like this as Bert just laid there. Eventually what appeared to be Muppet bugs were feasting on Bert’s body! I felt so scared! And Ernie’s voice kept getting deeper, until he sounded like Cookie Monster, if Cookie Monster was THE DEVIL!
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At long last, the terrible Bert and Ernie sketch finally ended. It was then when I figured this must be something like a Robot Chicken or Saturday Night Live spoof. Thinking quickly, I used my cable box remote and hit the “info” button, and was shocked to see that it said the current program I was watching was Sesame Street, and that it was episode #666! I nearly wet my pants, but then Kermit the Frog appeared. At first I felt a sense of comfort, because Kermit the Frog always gave me the giggles. But this too was a lie, since Kermit was standing behind a brick wall, with a red background that was VERY red, and he was waving his arms around like crazy, cackling about how he had taken an axe to Miss Piggy’s head! I tried to turn my TV off, but I couldn’t! Something beyond my control was MAKING me watch this terrible television!
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