Announcing the Winners of the 2022 Peely Awards for the Worst in Pop Culture

Header made by LibraryLass.

This is just a typical story: you know, one week barely avoiding getting murdered by an old boyfriend, and then the next week, I sell a house.

This was one of the final lines of The Wrong High School Sweetheart, the most recent entry in the David DeCoteau / Vivica A. Fox Lifetime series The Wrong. The Wrong High School Sweetheart was not nominated for Worst Film; it was forgotten beyond a nomination of Vivica A. Fox for Worst Actor. After all, while the Avocado’s attention was turned to Lifetime this year, more salacious thrillers (Mistress Hunter, The Wrong Mommy) and actually good holiday pictures (lesbian romcom Under the Christmas Tree, Kelsey Grammer’s The 12 Days of Christmas Eve) were just easier to care about. I only jotted the sentence down months ago in case we had a “worst line of dialogue” category—and it probably woulda won—but none was nominated. And so went the sub-mediocre TV movie thriller. Quietly pushed aside.

Plenty of things like this struggled or even failed to crack the list. There was the pathetic showing at the Golden Globes, which had to tweet out their winners because everyone refuses to broadcast their corrupt, discriminatory ass. Bo Duke / worst Pa Kent John Schneider starred in a movie about a man heroically holding up the American flag forever, and that one got nowhere near being considered our worst film of the year. The year in gaming started with the President of Square Enix explaining that his company’s players only hate NFTs because they “play to have fun,” not to gamify their hobbies for profit. That was one of the most infamous moments for the industry this year, and yet the only nomination (from me, to be clear) was well after peak voting. I forgot about it in favor of other, no less dumb things.

This defined the 2022 Peely’s. Things that deserved a place on this list struggled to make the grade not by ignorance or forgetfulness, but because other shit just took up space. It’s the byproduct the underlying theme of year’s cultural landscape: dumb, angry men very publicly fucking around, finding out, and covering the land with ash so thick that quieter acts of stupidity went ignored. It was the year of Warner Bros.’ latest owner David Zaslav, who’s stripping one of the world’s most storied entertainment companies for the copper wiring and shiving its talent. It was the year of Vladimir Putin, whose flailing and ongoing war of conquest against Ukraine has destroyed his economy, evaporated years of his propaganda, and shown him as a buffoon as incompetent as he is brutal. It was the year of losers like Dr. Oz, Liz Truss, and Brett Favre. It was the year of loser art like Blonde, Babylon’s Fall, and two separate terrible Pinocchio movies.

And yes, and more than anyone else, it was the year of Elon Musk, who took every opportunity to self-immolate on the world stage. Between enabling actual Nazis and squandering his ill-gotten gains, he became everyone’s favorite subject of mockery even as he worked (and still works) to demolish Twitter. Alongside peddling influence and empowering the hard right, he seems to have purchased Twitter in the hope of being the internet’s “main character” every day. It was a wish granted on a monkey’s paw. With every embarrassment, every attempt to make himself a hero, he didn’t just become a villain; he became a joke. As painful as it is to see the platform die, I’d like to think we can still enjoy seeing each idea blow up in his face.

These people, and others like them1Andrew Tate, Yuji Naka, Hellena Taylor, Jared Leto, Sam Bankman-Fried, the hosts of The Great British Bake-Off…, went out of their way to crown themselves the greatest fools of 2022. And they understandably took up plenty of space in this year’s Peely Awards. But fortunately, the annals of pop culture are always awash with crap, and you, the voters of the Avocado, showed that. For all of how a few maligned projects rose to the top, many more obscure and small bits of schadenfreude also made it. Everyone did great highlighting and mocking a wide array of projects all worth including for their own reasons. That’s why the Peely’s aren’t the Razzies. They’re kinder and smarter and meaner. Here are the winners and top four runners-up (more than four in the event of a fifth-place tie), with the final vote tally having been taken by midnight.

As one final note, alongside the “Worst Film category (which always shows its top ten), two other categories will have answers beyond the top five finalists. To champion more individual works of art, “Best Moment That’s Just Deeply Satisfying to the Primordial Lizard Part of Our Brains” will only count a work once via its highest-voted nominee, though every nomination made for it has also been included2Say that three times fast. No, it’s confusing, but it’ll make sense when you see it. And in light of one last bit of hilarity right before last year’s end, we’ve decided to show every nomination from “Most Spectacular Self-Own.” Because we deserve it.

1. Unholy Acting Talent Award for Worst Performer / Actor (of any gender) (Lovely Bones)

• Tesla Stock, the New York Stock Exchange (23)
• The Rock, Black Adam (15)
• Gal Gadot, Death on the Nile (13)
• Russell Crowe as Zeus, Thor: Love and Thunder (8)
• Tom Hank as Col. Tom Parker, Elvis (5)
• Vivica A. Fox as basically every The Wrong character played by Vivica, The Wrong High School Sweetheart (4)

2. Worst new Character

• Kiriko, Overwatch 2, an embarrassingly outdated one dimensional caricature—a pornbait Japanese ninja gamer girl—making three for three on Overwatch’s Japanese characters all being ninjas after six years of waiting for a third (15)
  • BONUS CONTEXT! Notably, she came on the heels of an embarrassing reveal that Blizzard uses a soulless algorithm to determine how much each character adds to the game’s diversity instead of, like, giving a voice to their marginalized staff members

• Russell Crowe’s Zeus, Thor: Love & Thunder  (6)
• Congressman-elect George “Jew-Ish” Santos (3)
• ASTRA, the “manic pixie dream gun” from The Entropy Centre (2)

3. Most Baffling, Bone-Headed, or Banal Plot Twist or Development (Lovely Bones). Double Winner!!

• Bayonetta, video game’s favorite assertive dominatrix brawler, just needs to find the right fella no matter how much of a drip he is, Bayonetta 3 (21)
• “Mount Doom being the result of a Rube Goldberg machine activated by a Macguffin sword hilt/key like some silly Resident Evil game”, Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (21)
• Much of Picard Season 2 (17) 
• Whatever the fuck is going on with the Vulture in Morbius (15)
• The obviously artificial world of „Don’t Worry Darling“ is not real?!? (14)

4. Acrid-Life Crisis Award for Most Divorced Man of 2022 (Lovely Bones)

• Elon Musk, whose vanity purchase was one of the world’s biggest social media sites (58 votes)
• Tom Brady, who came back from football retirement fame into current football mediocrity to ignore his crumbling marriage (37 votes)
• Kanye West, who takes time from his work of “freaking out even Alex Jones” and “denying the Holocaust” to publicly complain about his ex-wife’s love life (20 votes)
• Graham Linehan, who came back on Twitter after Elon unbanned him despite its role in how his obsessive fixation on violently bigoted ‘activism’ and harassment has completely alienated literally every friend and family member of his, including somehow even other devoted TERFs (19 votes)
• Jair Bolsonaro, who in the wake of losing the Presidency has fled from Brazil to Florida with loyal generals… but not his wife (13)

5. Tetsuya Nomura Trophy for Worst Costuming and Costume Design (Shit-Master Slootfass)

• House of the Dragon’s Targaryen wigs (18 votes)
• The Riddler’s “undignified hefty bag,” The Batman (12)
• The Midnight Angels’ very literally translated armor, Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (4)
• Pawoo’s boobtastic outfit, Sabikui Bisco (2)

6. Crushed Under Cleats Award for Worst Sports Moment of the Year (The Decemberween Laundry Co.)

• Having the World Cup in Qatar (60 votes)
• Miami Dolphins trying to excuse not noticing quarterback Tua Tagovailoa’s concussion (28 votes)
• The Browns’ handling of signing DeShaun Watson with a $230 million contract despite more than twenty-four charges of sexual violence (21 votes)
• FOX’s “stick to sports” coverage style for the Qatar World Cup (20 votes)
• The Washington Commanders’ Dan Snyder, in general. (13) 

7. Worst Waste of Idris Elba, Once and Future King of Roles Beneath His Talents (galateas)

• Booking.com ads (33)
• Thor: Love & Thunder (6)
• Beast (6)
• Preemptive award for starring in the DLC for previous Peely’s winner Cyberpunk 2077 (2)

8. Richard Kind Award for Best Character Actor Livening Up a Not Great Project (SludgeVohaul)

• Matt Smith, Morbius (18)
• Brian Tyree Henry, Bullet Train (16)
• Jennifer Coolidge, The White Lotus (7)
• Tracy Letts, Deep Water (4)
• Eric Roberts, The Wrong High School Sweetheart (4)

9. Worst Adaptation Attempt, Whether Retelling, Remaking, Remastering, or Expanding on a Story (Otakunomike / Mr Ixolite)

• Death on the Nile (33) “Bile for Nile, worst movie by a mile!”
• The Book of Boba Fett (19)
• Obi Wan Kenobi (17)
• Lightyear (17)
• Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (16)
• Halo (16)

10. Platinum Puke Bucket For Most Intentionally Offensive Pop Culture You Saw in 2022 (Ice Cream Planet)

• JK Rowling’s Twitter (19)
• Alloy Comics (12)
• The King’s Daughter (10)
• Moonfall for championing a conspiracy theorist main character (6)
• Alex Jones commenting his own trial in real time on his show, doing the very thing he is accused of (lying and conspiracy mongering) and then whining about the results (6) 

11. Bronze Barf Pail for Most Accidentally Offensive Pop Culture in 2022

• The Great British Baking Show‘s Mexican Episode: Wearing stereotypical Mexican dress, mispronouncing and mangling traditional Mexican cuisine, apparently not getting that burn marks are not bad on tortillas, and doing unspeakable things to an avocado (46)
• Amsterdam being about “choosing kindness” and nothing else for 134 minutes despite the abuser who directed it (9)
• Empire of Light having a black character describe racism as “a bad situation,” and that seems to be the thesis of the movie (7)
• Belle, for using child abuse in an instrumental way to tell an ‘affecting’ story that trivializes victims of abuse. (5)
• The Orbital Children: Maybe cultists have a point (2)

12. Worst Thinkpiece, an Award That’s Somehow Bad for Joe Biden (Lovely Bones, in honor of Merve)

• “Low gas prices are actually bad for gas stations and that’s bad for Biden,” as paraphrased on Fox News (35)
• Graeme Wood on why Americans don’t care about democracy, and won’t vote to save it, saying “I take comfort in knowing that voters are such cynics when confronted with vague claims about the end of democracy.” (26)
  • For extra dumbness, publishing it on the day of the 2022 Midterms where the election deniers he thought would win were routinely trounced
• This is a rare non-political thinkpiece, but “Explained: Are We Getting a Super Smash Bros. Cinematic Universe?.” an article that exhaustively tries to prove that the Sonic movies (produced by Paramount, and about a franchise Nintendo doesn’t own) and Detective Pikachu (produced by Warner Bros., and about a franchise Nintendo only partially owns) have spent years secretly laying the groundwork for a Nintendo Cinematic Universe orbiting the upcoming Mario movie (produced by a company that is neither Paramount nor Warner Bros.) (25)
• The many right-wing attempts to argue Musk’s changes to Twitter were necessary to “restore its American values” (18)
• Dennis Prager whining about why his grandchildren won’t see him for Christmas (14)

13. Dragnet Decoration for Most Egregious Copaganda (Mexican Blade Runner)

• Chicago PD‘s episode in which a suspect’s killing of a kid is blamed on a witness not trusting the police department—despite the department having, in previous seasons, been depicted as heroically covering up a murder (20)
• Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, just for being it (18)
• General vote for “CBS” the channel (11)
• NCIS Hawaii’s smuggling myths about fentanyl through its more diverse cast (5)
• The Rookie (5)

14. Burned On Investment Accolade for Worst Return for the Effort Put In (Owen1120)

• Discovery merging with HBO / Warner only to learn that streaming is a hemorrhaging loss-leader, leading to Zaslav purging popular shows to deprive artists of royalties and shore up profits (46)
• Elon buying / “running” Twitter (41)
• Donald Trump’s midterm endorsements, including such luminaries as elitist celebrity snake oil salesman Dr. Oz (25)
• Putin investing the entire Russian military on one single warm-water port in Ukraine and getting his shit pushed in (24)
• How much did Amazon spend on Rings of Power again? (14)

15. Video Game Dragged Down the Most by Microtransactions / Live Service BS (LoveWaffle)

• Overwatch 2, which removed random gacha elements but somehow feels less fair and more predatory (16)
• Diablo Immortal (12)
• Chocobo GP, a game that could have easily just been (and reads like) a normal retail release (9)
• MultiVersus and its twenty-five dollar Batman: The Animated Series costume (9)
• Gotham Knights (2)

16. Worst Attempt to Cash In On Crypto / NFTs Despite the Market Tanking (Shit-Master Slootfass, Canadave87)

• Trump rebounding from his failures at the 2022 midterms with… NFT trading cards??? (46)

• Square Enix selling off fifty-plus franchises and acclaimed studios Crystal Dynamics / Eidos in order to have more cash to invest in selling NFTs (23)
• Larry David starring in crypto ads this year (18)
• Star Trek NFTs going against the franchise’s core values (18 votes)
• Square Enix making NFTs based on Final Fantasy VII, their signature blockbuster JRPG which famously stars ecoterrorists (15)

17. Silver Zaslav for Most Infuriating Film, Series, or Broader Project Cancellation of 2022 (Ice Cream Planet): 

• Infinity Train being unpersoned to save a few bucks on taxes and residuals (31)
• The infamous 90% completed straight to streaming Batgirl movie, erased from existence for a tax writeoff (30 votes)
• Minx being pulled from HBO Max despite having already completed its second season, though Lionsgate may still put it somewhere new (28)
• A League of Their Own, which hasn’t been actively canceled, but four and a half months of still waiting for any official word on its fate, for a masterpiece in by queers for queers television, is bad enough (24 votes) 
• The Owl House again, as its three episode third season remains ongoing due to brutal hiatuses, further exacerbated by Disney only just realizing this fall long after production has wrapped that the series’ audience really was a lot larger than they thought, because broadcast TV is not an effective way to reach a young adult audience (23)

18. KFC Bowl of Sadness Memorial Award for Worst Culinary Monstrosity (The Decemberween Laundry Co.)

• The Great British Bake-Off‘s offensive, depressing, and clueless take on Mexican food. (42 votes)
• Pepsi pushing ‘pilk’ (Pepsi + milk) as a new holiday treat (9)
• El Santo’s niece’s “candy and pancake batter” concoction (8)
• Papa Bowls: now with 35% less racism! (6)

19. Worst Trailer, Advertisement, or Marketing Campaign (Owen1120, The Decemberween Laundry Co.)

• This Sixt commercial that tries to make you think that renting cars “the old way” is for fucking boring ass boomers. You gotta rent cars the “sick way”, weeewww!!! Skydiving! (25)
• State Farm “I like to smell my own beard” commercial (20)
• The general practice of movie trailers having a famous song slowed down for dramatic effect, AKA trailercore, something used even by the Mario movie (20)
• The Fabelmans trailers showcasing a warm, happy movie about the magic of cinema when it is actually a serious drama about the destructive yet seductive power of cinema (17)
• Whopper Whopper Whopper Whopper (16)

Though it didn’t make the top five, we’d also like to give a separate Lifetime Achievement Award to the ghoulish Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League trailer that marketed having Kevin Conroy’s final performance as Batman just a month after his death.

20. Best Moment That’s Just Deeply Satisfying to the Primordial Lizard Part of Our Brains (Lovely Bones). NOTE: to spread the love around, we’ve done something different; only one nomination per project will be counted, but all nominated moments for the finalists will be included

• When the rock turns around and it has googly eyes, Everything Everywhere All At Once (35). Other examples:
  • Raccacoonie (26)
  • Just the fact that James Hong is still alive and still doing movies like this in his 90s (23)
  • The fight over the butt plug trophies (17)
• Janelle Monae burns it all down, Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery (25). Other examples:
  • The Hourly Dong (22)
  • Benoit Blanc solving a deliberately super-complicated mystery in five seconds (8)
• The “Tiger Fight,” RRR (24)
• Doctor Strange and his evil counterpart fight each other with music, Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness (21). Other examples:
  • Scarlet Witch brutally massacring all the awful fanboy cameos in sixty seconds flat (16)
  • Dr. Strange and his cape of corpses (14)
  • Sam Raimi inevitably busting out the Deadite-cam (8)
  • Doctor Strange cuts I Can’t Believe It’s Legally Distinct from Shuma-Gorath in half with a buzz saw (3)
• Batman’s escape attempt from Gotham Police HQ is interrupted by his parachute getting caught and he completely eats shit and crashes, The Batman (18)
• Non-euphemistic naked volcano duel, The Northman (18)

21. Most Unmitigated Square Enix Disaster (Wolfman Jew)

• Selling a bunch of their Western studios and properties to invest in blockchain related stuff (24)
  • Let’s remember: In a press statement in January, Square Enix President Yosuke Matsuda defended the company’s sale of NFTs by saying that players opposed to it only hate NFTs because they “play to have fun.”
• Japanese police uncovering multiple years-old insider trading scandals around mobile spinoffs for Dragon Quest and Final Fantasy, which implicated among others Sonic the Hedgehog co-creator Yuji Naka (13)
• Chocobo GP, A sequel to a 20 year old cult classic and children’s kart racer laden with exploitative, tempting microtransactions, now shut down completely after only nine months (13)
• Babylon’s Fall, a major AAA Platinum Games developed live service that collapses so utterly it will be completely shut down after less than a year. (10)
• Putting out a bunch of mid-budget games within way too short a release window,, and aimed at the same narrow fanbase that could realistically only play one of them at a time (6)

Last minute Peely’s Update! In an exciting new twist, President Matsuda has just come out with another January letter proclaiming the value of crypto! In which he basically declares that the ongoing downfall of the crypto industry is just a further opportunity for them. After all, the market being bad just makes it exciting and volatile!

22. Most Spectacular Self-Own (Wolfman Jew). In light of the most recent one of these, and in the name of schadenfreude, we have elected to include all entries, not only the top five:

• Elon Musk et al (42). All examples given by the commentariat of the Avocado, though these are really a fraction of the ones that happened in 2022. Consider adding more in the comments, if you’d like!
  • Destroys Tesla’s stock value and his own aura of invincibility (i.e. the actual source of his wealth) entirely because he wanted to read Babylon Bee’s one joke again
  • Chooses the overpriced $44 billion cost to buy Twitter so he could make a “420” joke
  • Comes to a Chappelle stand-up set in secret, steps out as a cameo, and is just crushed under a tidal way of booing. Hours later and after videos of this have been published online, he goes to Twitter explaining how “90%” of the audience liked him
  • Asks for “screenshots of code” to determine a programmer’s worth once he took over Twitter, which immediately proved that he knows nothing about programming.
  • Polls his site’s users on whether he should go away and getting a decisive “yes” (and then not going away)
  • Even fucks up something as simple as wasting money on a visual pun by buying a sink and carrying it into Twitter HQ, but going with “Let that sink in” and not “I bought everything and the kitchen sink”
  • Does his mom defending him on Twitter count for this? I’m not sure, but I’ll keep it here for you, the viewers, to decide
• Ben Shapiro all but explicitly states that he is motivated to only do evil (32)
• Ben Shapiro demonstrates his failure to grasp how fiction works via a Glass Onion Twitter rant (31)
• Former Bayonetta voice actress Hellena Taylor attempts to spark a boycott against Bayonetta 3, just gets exposed as a liar and reactionary (26)
• Alex Jones admits to perjury while on the stand (25)
• The entire term of U.K. Prime Minister and failed lettuce impersonator Liz Truss (25)
• Morbius had two separate theatrical windows in 2022 and it still flopped (24)
• Putin’s invasion of Ukraine, a horrible ongoing quagmire that has nonetheless destroyed the cheap veneer of toxic masculinity he’s spent literal decades cultivating (20)
• Bob Chapek nets a three-year contract extension as CEO of Disney, then gets replaced with his predecessor a couple months later (15)
• Andrew Tate films a response video to Greta Thunberg after Thunberg made a tweet criticizing / disparaging Tate… only to be arrested by Romanian authorities a day later for his sex trafficking crimes because his response video confirmed that he is in the country through a pizza box (14)
  • For added schadenfreude, this came weeks after Musk let him back on Twitter, which had previous banned him
• After days promoting a “SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT” in the wake of his utter failure in the 2022 Midterms, Donald Trump dramatically unveils… ugly, incredibly cheap NFTs of his head badly photoshopped onto stock images (13)
• Yuji Naka goes scorched earth on Square Enix only to get arrested for insider trading twice a few months later, with the company cooperating with authorities (6)
• Every media appearance by FTX’s Sam Bankman-Fried, who repeatedly admitted to fraud in interviews meant to do damage control over his company’s public implosion and investigation (3)

23. The JK Rowling Memorial Award for Most Egregious Celebrity Behavior (Ice Cream Planet)

• Kanye West going full Nazi (91)
• With a sigh, Will Smith at the Oscars (31)
• Still JK Rowling, who was even acknowledged by Putin as justification for invading Ukraine (27)
• Johnny Depp (21)
• Morgan Freeman’s money grab participation in the opening ceremony of the World Cup (7)

24. Worst Social Media Moment Not Involving Elon Musk’s Takeover of Twitter (The Decemberween Laundry Co.)

• The House GOP Twitter account publishes a comment that’s just “Kanye. Elon. Trump,” keeps it for months, only deleting it well after Kanye outs himself as a Holocaust denier, Elon tanks Twitter, and Trump destroys their chances of retaking the U.S. Senate (57)
• “Yall don’t get it. Ape holders can use multiple slurp juices on a single ape!” (22)
• “Jorts is ableist” (21)
• The circus revolving around the Johnny Depp-Amber Heard trial (19)
• Chili discourse (17)

25. Worst Corporate Rebrand, an Award that Has Some Legs (Tigercat919)

• AT&TWarner becoming Warner Bros. Discovery, and all that entails (42)
• Facebook / Meta’s increasing money-sucking pivot to VR metaverses which look like awkward 2000s CG cartoons and still can’t even have legs (33)
• The Washington Commanders, which obviously IS still much better than what they had but, like, c’mon. You had two years to think of an interesting name (15)
• Dontnod removing the palindrome and changing its name to Don’t Nod (4)

26. Fanservice with a Glasgow Smile Medal for Most Baffling Fanboy Pandering (El Santo) 

1. Obi-Wan joylessly connecting lore dots without adding anything of value (25)
2. Trump NFTs (13)
3. Sony twisting Morbius and Tom Holland’s Spider-Man movies into knots to somehow bring Michael Keaton’s Adrian Toomes into their non-MCU Spider-Man villain movies, a moment that will almost certainly never come up again (13)
4. Book of Boba Fett walks back the big departure between the Mandalorian and Grogu / Baby Yoda (10)
5. Paramount announcing the cast of TNG would reunite for the third season of Picard shortly after the second season premiered to weaker-than-expected numbers (9) 

27. Please Touch Grass Award for Most Ridiculous Fandom Bullshit of 2022 (Ice Cream Planet)

• Johnny Depp fandom’s role in the Depp-Heard trial (46) 
• Heartstopper’s Kit Conner being harassed into coming out (44)
• Elon Musk fans, far before his takeover of Twitter, complaining about the successes of other space companies because he’d “have done it better” (28)
• Tolkien fans’ excessive and often bigoted negative reactions to The Rings of Power (24)
• Harry Styles stans further derailing an already nightmarish situation of adultery, divorce, public incidents, and on-set mismanagement and creepiness by director Olivia Wilde, because they were jealous Harry was fucking her and not them (23)

We would also like to provide a separate Lifetime Achievement Award to Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story for inspiring its fans to make thirst posts about Jeffrey Dahmer and how “misunderstood” he was. It didn’t get enough votes to make the list, but we wanted to give it a shoutout. Fuck you, Ryan Murphy.

28. Pass the Popcorn, Sicko Award for Most Entertaining Industry Drama (LibraryLass)

• The implosion of the DCEU in favor of the DCU (60)
• The Don’t Worry Darling fiasco (42)
• Will Smith slaps Chris Rock and wins an Oscar within the hour (31)
• Bob Chapek getting abruptly fired and replaced by his own predecessor for sucking so bad (27)
• Sonic co-creator Yuji Naka attempts to rally public support for his lawsuit against Square Enix, only for no developer who has ever worked with him to take his side, so he clumsily blacks out his fellow Sonic cocreator in an old picture out of spite and then gets arrested for insider trading two separate times (25)

29. Promised Neverland Award for TV Series with the Steepest Drop in Quality Between Seasons (LoveWaffle). Double Winner!!

• The Book of Boba Fett, if considered it a sequel to The Mandalorian (11)
• Star Trek: Picard Season 2 (11)
• Snowpiercer Season 3 (9)
• Superman & Lois Season 2 (5)
• Dead to Me Season 3 (4)

30. Annual Ted Lasso Award for Best Series, Movie, or Game of 2022 Locked Away on a Streaming Service You Don’t Want (LoveWaffle)

• Severance, Apple TV (33)
• Andor, Disney+ (21)
• Girls5Eva, Peacock, who punted it to Netflix unceremoniously (19)
• A League of Their Own, Amazon Prime (a streaming service where some creatives from other shows accused the service of doing little to no promotion of their own shows (besides Rings of Power) (17)
• MLB, terrestrial cable or the Bally sports service (13)

31. Most Obscure Disappointment, a Prize Honoring the Things We Don’t Know and Quite Possibly Shouldn’t (Merve / Wolfman Jew)

• The 2022 Marmaduke movie starring Pete Davidson (38)
• Remember that there was an Olympics in Beijing this year? Did you? Really? (20)
• The King’s Daughter, i.e. “the mermaid one” shot in 2014 and released nine years later (10)
• Did you know that Ghostwire: Tokyo had a prelude visual novel? Did you know that it was boring, cheesy, and bathetic? Now you do! (3)
• The second season of Hataraku Maou-sama! wasn’t bad, just disappointing (2)

32. Dead Dove Award for Touching the Pop Culture Stovetop You Knew was Hot (LibraryLass, Shit-Master Slootfass, Agnew)

• As soon as Pershing heard what was happening they knew it would be bad, but the Funky Winkerbean retirement celebration exceeded their wildest expectations (28)
• Wolfman Jew found Morbius actually “less” bad than he expected, but “less bad” than getting your head stuck in a bear trap is still pretty damn bad (27)
• Owen, for completionism reasons, watched both Morbius and Black Adam (13)
• Merve knew Kanye’s appearance on Alex Jones would be bad, but they weren’t prepared for how bad (12)
• Agnew’s obligatory Magia Record nomination (8)

33. Worst Pop Culture from a Previous Year that You Experienced for the First Time in 2022 (Merve)

• High Fidelity (14)
• Christmas in New York (12) 
• Se7en (8)
• The DC Comics event Zero Hour (8)
• Kingdom Hearts coded (7)

34. Worst Thing The Avocado Watched in a Live Show This Year (Wolfman Jew)

1. Danny Masterson’s Urge, so repellent it made our beloved host consider renouncing his bondage fetish (13) 
2. The atrociously animated Cinderella: Once Upon a Time…In the West (7)
3. The handful of seconds in the otherwise excellent Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace where TERF Graham Linehan cameoed (7)
4. Like half of the Underworld franchise (6)
5. Empire of the Ants (6)

In addition, while it came far too late to be fairly counted, we also would like to give a bonus Lifetime Achievement Award for Kingdom Hearts χ Back Cover, which aired during Wolfman’s all-day New Year’s Eve marathon and was so painfully bad and boring that the Central European delegation left in protest.

35. Silliest Title for an Eric Roberts Movie Released in 2022

• From Dusk Till Bong (37)
• It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Murder (18)
• The Rideshare Killer (8)
• Dog Boy (7)
• The Wrong High School Sweetheart (6)

36. Worst Video Game of 2022

• Overwatch 2, the game that keeps you from playing Overwatch 1… by deleting it! (18) 
• Postal 4: No Regerts (11)
• High on Life (12)
• Diablo Immortal (11) 
• Forest Mystery (7)

37. Worst Album of 2022

• Drake, Honestly, Nevermind. I guess Drake has stopped rapping and just wants to make boring-ass club tracks now? (10)
• Machine Gun Kelly, Mainstream Sellout (7)
• Meghan Trainor, Takin’ It Back (7) 
• Kim petras’s S___ Pop (6)
• Muse, Will of the People (5)
• Korn, The Requiem (5)

38. Worst TV Season of 2022

• The Book of Boba Fett (39)
• Star Trek: Picard Season 2 (20 votes)
• Ryan Murphy as always with Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story (19)
• American Horror Story: New York (5)
• The final season of Ozark (3)

39. Worst Book, Comic, or Piece of Prose of 2022

• JK Rowling, The Ink Black Heart, which seems to be just her crying about people calling her out on her transphobia and actually critiquing her creative works. For 1,024 pages (34)
• The entirety of the dialogue, narration, animal sounds, and very loosely related celebrity quotations in Mary Worth, by Karen “What Is Wrong With You” Moy (15)
• Steven Lloyd, Paperbacks from Hell: Friend of the Devil. A cliché-riddled private eye story filled with demons from Hell, and a black character written embarrassingly, if perhaps unsurprisingly, by a white guy who used to write for Modern Family and How I Met Your Mother (13)
• Star Wars: Crimson Reign (2)
• Lark, Ascending by Silas House. Prose example below:

Which would be worse—to drown and drift down to the darkest depths of the ocean or to be eaten by sharks and shat out into the sea?

40. Worst Film of 2022: Double Winner!!

• Terror on the Prairie by Ben Shapiro and starring Gina Carano (19)
• Purple Hearts, which makes romantic heroes of violently anti-Arab soldiers (19)
• Disney’s Pinocchio Remake (18)
  • NOTE: this is different from Pauly Shore’s Pinocchio: A True Story, which is apparently also awful but failed to crack the Top 10
• My Son Hunter, the incompetent thriller (?) about Hunter Biden (18)
• Black Adam, which may or may not be a crossover with a Justice Society movie that doesn’t exist (18)
• Thor: Love and Thunder (17)
• Lightyear, which clumsily builds up to a specific ending moment, only to instantly undercut it less than 2 minutes later (15)
• The Texas Chainsaw Massacre reboot with the self-driving car (14)
• Rob Zombie’s The Munsters (14)
• Morbius (14)

Well, that was certainly quite a selection, eh? Again, as the unelected chairman of the Peelys Committee, I’d like to thank you all so much for contributing to our most successful Peely’s ever! We got just under one thousand comments! Clearly, this Part 1 and Part 2 thing is a success, so we’ll be using it going forward. I’d also like to give two specific shoutouts: one to Lovely Bones, who was indispensable in figuring out the categories and tallying the winners, and one LibraryLass, who made this spectacular header.

Anyway, conspire in the comments, and see you all again next mid-to-late-December.