Welcome to the test run of a fun idea I had. And Now A Word From Our Sponsors is a place where I take 4 or 5 commercials embed them here for your viewing pleasure and I make some jokes while giving my thoughts on each ad. The commercials in this thread will range from Retro-Modern, Local-International (to the US,) and Normal-Bizarre.
First On the docket is one of a series of ads that will be familiar to anyone who watched TV in the Pacific Northwest from about the mid 90s to the Mid 10s. Yeah I’m talking about the legendary Vern Fonk auto insurance company. This ad finds our Marty Mcfly Type excitedly telling us about all the coverage we can get and all the bad stuff on your record that Vern Fonk ignores when he gets blindsided by Robert Thielke (commonly thought to be Vern Fonk himself) driving a Delorean. Final Rating: Fonking Hilarious
I am so sorry. But when I saw this Doritos ad I knew I had to make this thread. Just how did these mechanics get in this arrangement? Is this all that the Finger Cleaner does during their shift? Why are they typing on a computer? How many Doritos do you need to buy as an auto shop to justify the cleaning expense? Final Rating: One freshly “cleaned” finger out of 10.
Before Toy Story shot them into history as The premiere studio for 3D Animated feature films Pixar did a lot of advertisements. This Listerine ad from 1991 (one of several they animated for the mouthwash) is a stealth remake of the Rocky movies. Much like our hero Balboa, Listerine is stepping into the ring to face his biggest challenger yet, Gingivitis! Luckily Ol’ Listy has the eye of the dentist in him and after three grueling rounds manages to knock out his opponent. Final Ranking: Inspiring and Thrilling/10
The final ad for today is this delightful ad for Ballantine’s Ale from 1957 thereabouts. In it a jaunty old timey Puppet Barkeep sings about how proud is he to serve the customers in his bar Ballantine’s as it is brewed with Brewer’s Gold. The Puppets may come off as creepy to some but I like them a lot and I think it must’ve been a fun commercial to work on. Final Ranking: Old Gold!
That’s about all we have for today. What do you think about these commercials? Do you have any you’d like to share? Let me know in the comments.