“Funnel Race” is more than a bit of a misnomer. The point of the event is to finish last, which if anything makes it the exact opposite of a race. But semantics don’t lessen the excitement of what is one of the audience’s most beloved MarbleLympics contests. There’s a reason this competition is a fan favourite: you can never tell what’s going to happen next. Substantial leads can evaporate in seconds as a marble bursts through multiple funnels at once. On the other hand, collisions can knock marbles on the brink of falling into the next funnel out of harm’s way, giving them renewed life.
Though drama would ensue, the first heat starts off with pure comedy, as the O’Rangers fail to make it more than a few centimetres from the gate. Once favoured to win the 2019 MarbleLympics, these marbles are proving to be as clown(f)ish as their appearance would suggest. But the rest of the marbles stay in the race, and soon we’re down to the final three. The Savage Speeders look like they’re going to take the heat, with a two funnel gap between them and third place. But two quick drops later, they fall into the final chute and place a respectable third, leaving the Hazers in first.
The second heat sees two green marbles duking it out to advance, with the Green Ducks and Jungle Jumpers constantly vacillating between the dreaded fifth place and the coveted fourth slot. In the end, both manage to advance, with the Green Ducks placing in second, echoing their performance in the previous event. But the most impressive showing is from the Raspberry Racers, who come from behind from an arguable seventh place to end up atop the heat.
The finals see the top four finishers from both heats competing for the podium. The green marbles that competed so fiercely in their heat disappointingly end up in seventh and eighth place. Meanwhile, on the other end, the Savage Speeders and Hazers duke it out for the top two spots. It looks like the Hazers might eke it out, but then, at the last second, they zip through two funnels and take the bronze, mirroring what happened to them and the Savage Speeders in their heat. That leaves the Raspberry Racers with the silver and the Savage Speeders (ironically) with the gold.
Stray thoughts:
- For a while, it looked like newcomers Green Ducks could bag a second medal. Alas, it was not to be. Still, they remain my team. Quack quack!
- While irony seems to have favoured the Savage Speeders in this event, it did not help the Oceanics one bit, who avoided the last-place spot simply by virtue of the O’Rangers screwing up so badly. Maybe the Oceanics just suck.
- The zigzag formation is my favourite funnel arrangement yet.
- The overhead camera is a nice touch. Picture-in-picture for the win!
- The Jungle Jumpers and Green Ducks look a little too similar, so sometimes I’m not quite sure whom I’m cheering for.
Complete stats for the 2019 Marblelympics can be found at the Marblelympics Wiki.