“Greetings, you filthy Avocados. It is I, Flinthart Glomgold, the (second) richest duck in the world! And don’t ya lads ever forget it! I come to yer humble website with a simple proposition, one which will DESTROY Scrooge McDuck ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! MWHAHAHAHA!!!

I mean….I’m just a Scotsman trying to make his way in the world. Which is why I have pursued a diabolical, I mean, completely innocent way of making money that will make me even more wealthy than McDuck. Ye see, unlike Scrooge, I see the future. I know where the REAL cash is it! So allow me to introduce you idiots, I mean, potential buyers to…

GLOMGOLD INDUSTRIES OFFICIAL NFTS!!!!!

That’s right, for the small price of HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS, these lovely EXCLUSIVE Glomgold NFTs (NO STEALING!) can be ALL YOURS! Just think of how jealous all of the kids on the playground will be when you show them you own THIS bad boy (the bad boy is me, by the way)!

Doesn’t that just tempt ya to spend yer savings money? But if THAT wasn’t enough, I also have this SEXY GLOMGOLD NFT (DO NOT STEAL!!!), yours to OWN and ready to MINT for a LOW PRICE of HUNDREDS OF MORE DOLLARS!!!

Don’t ya want to buy THAT, lads? I would, if I didn’t own it, which I do! But now I bring you my BEST NFT (NO STEALING!) of the lot, one that will make McDuck cry like a wee little baby! I give you…GOLMGOLD’S NFT OF SCROOGE MCDUCK HIMSELF! No copyright infringement intended, except that is IS intended, which is what makes it copyright infringement! I’M SO EVIL!!!

And there you have them! Be sure to make yer preorders today! When we’re done, I will be the RICHEST DUCK IN ALL OF THE WORLD, and will shove it in McDuck’s face! Remember, you owe me this after I saved the world from the moon creatures!

Have an EVIL night, Avocado people! MWHAHAHAHAHA!!!”