Once upon a time, there was a man named Grandpa Seth. He was dead, but that didn’t stop him from telling bedtime stories. Stories about beautiful maidens who gave deadly Shamrock Shakes to unsuspecting victims. So like The Princess Bride, but drunk.
Also, Grandpa Seth looked like Orson Welles for some reason.
So heed Grandpa Seth’s advice. He’s dead, so he knows things. Don’t eat the green goo. Eat your double-decker bologna sandwiches. And above all, DON’T GO TO NILBOG!*
*Nilbog is “goblin” spelled backwards.