We’ve got a slow week of game, which is fine by me because I’ve had probably one of the busiest weeks of work that I’ve ever seen. Sorry if that comes across as a weird flex, I know lots of people would love to be working right now so I don’t take it for granted. Still, it was so damn busy that I barely had time to look at these games and come up with witty things to say about them. Maybe just gimmie a break this week, huh?
Fast & Furious Crossroads (PC/PS4/Xbox One) – Releases Aug. 7th
Ronnie, Debo, Special Mike, Kid Kay, and Vanessa are back again for another round of car stuff. Fire it up! Fire it up! Fire it up!
Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout (PC/PS4) – Releases Aug. 4th
It’s about time someone put out a video game version of Takeshi’s Castle, well, it’s not a licensed game, but if you’ve seen the show then you’ll instantly know what I mean when you see this in action. I’m way more excited for this game than anything else coming out this week, and if you’re a PS+ subscriber…
Hellbound (PC) – Releases Aug. 4th
Hey, remember the ’90s? They’re back, but like this game is almost closer to the early 2000’s, but like, the beginning of the decade is always kind of like an extension of the previous decade, plus if you live in the center of the U.S. your trends hit a bit slower than they do on the coasts, not that I’m saying we’re coastal elites, I mean, some people say that, but we aren’t, but like, we do get things before the rest of the U.S., but also usually only in Southern California or New York, but like, that doesn’t make us better than the rest of the country, okay, I mean, our food is better, and we’re generally more tolerant of people, but that does NOT make us elite’s okay, it just doesn’t, and how fucking dare you, you come up in here, to my place of business and try to say some shit like that, the balls on you, let me tell you something you fucking piece of shit, I’ve had it about up to here with your coastal elites bashing, okay, those are good people who do good jobs and make the rest of this pathetic shithole of a country feel good about themselves, alright, we know what’s best for you, we have the answers so shut your god damn mouths and perk up those ears, buttercup, because we’re telling it like it is, fuckbags. Hellbound releases on August 4th.
Skully (PC/PS4/Switch/Xbox One) – Releases Aug. 4th
Looking forward to the sequel Molder.
Swimsanity! (PC/Switch/Xbox One) – Releases Aug. 7th (PS4 release TBA)
People who like to swim are INSANE, right?
Ports and Re-releases:
Phantasy Star Online 2 (PC – Steam) – Releases Aug. 5th
“You idiots! You captured their stunt doubles!“
Horizon Zero Dawn (PC) – Releases Aug. 7th
I feel really bad that I missed this when Breath of the Wild came out, plus I’ve also had the disc for like two years thanks to the wonderful people at Cheap Ass Gamer posting deals on Twitter and Facebook. Hey, pro tip, if you want to spend a bunch of money on games you’ll never play, but at a really low price, follow @videogamedeals on Twitter, run by the very nice Jared Thorbahn and his luxurious beard.
Spitlings (PC/PS4/Switch/Xbox One) – Releases Aug. 4th
Anime Feet (PC) – Releases Aug. 6th
Clan N (PC/PS4/Switch/Xbox One) – Releases Aug. 6th
Notable Releases from 10, 20 and 30 years ago:
This week we’ve got an out of print beat ’em up, the worst Dreamcast game ever made, and one of the first video games to ever use digitized video graphics. Let’s reminisce!
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: The Game (PS3) – Released Aug. 10th, 2010: Wiki Link
Brian Lee O’Malley’s popular comic book series Scott Pilgrim vs. The World was a love letter to retro video games, proudly wearing its influences on its sleeve. In 2010, the comic would get two adaptations; a film released on August 13th and a downloadable video game on August 10th. While both would get rave reviews, the movie would bomb and the game would eventually be delisted and made unavailable for purchase, because the world is unfair and cruel. Before it was unceremoniously yanked from digital store’s, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World: The Game was one of the few retro inspired brawlers available, with nods to several games, including Mega Man, Guitar Hero, and most notably River City Ransom. Continuing with the retro aesthetic, chiptune masters Anamanaguchi provided a killer soundtrack, with some reviewers calling it the best part of the game, with its release debuting at #3 on the Billboard Heatseeker’s Albums chart. The game and film were closely related, with series creator O’Malley, and director Edgar Wright, having a strong hand in the development of the title, making the whole thing a “transmedia narrative“. If you’re unfamiliar with the term “transmedia narrative“, it is the technique of telling a single story across multiple platforms using current digital technologies. With Scott Pilgrim’s final issue releasing shortly before the release of the film, a game release, a series of animated shorts on Adult Swim, and a feature film, you were expected to engage with each of these to experience the full narrative, with each piece referencing the others either overtly or subtly. While Wright and O’Malley have expressed a desire to see the game return, Ubisoft has given no indication that they ever intend on renewing the license or selling the game to another developer. I guess all we can do now is wait for someone to put in another quarter…
Spirit of Speed 1937 (Dreamcast) – Released Jul. 31st, 2000: Wiki Link
I’m going to cheat this week and give you a Cinemassacre video about this game, but a quick history. Originally released in the UK in 1999, Activision bought the publishing rights for the U.S., releasing the title under its LJN banner, which should immediately clue you in on the quality of the game. With poor controls and terrible graphics, Spirit of Speed 1937 is probably the worst game ever released for the Dreamcast, a fitting swan song for the notorious LJN.
Pit-Fighter (Arcade) – Released Aug. 1990: Wiki Link
For most of us, when we think digitized sprites the first title to come to mind is Mortal Kombat. Heck, you might have even gone all these years thinking it was the first game to use the technique, but you’d be wrong. Two years before Sub-Zero and Scorpion were ripping each other apart, arcade rats were enjoying the exploits of Buzz, Ty, and Kato. These three bad dudes were just itching to be well known street fighters, trying like hell to cause a rampage as they fought their way through a gauntlet of total carnage; Burger Time. After playing through Pit-Fighter, I can’t say it’s a great game, but seeing as the fighting genre was still in its infancy with titles like Karate Champ, Yie Ar Kung-Fu and Street Fighter being the only ones out there, to see a game that took those titles to the next level, not to mention featuring graphics of real people, it must have blown people away in 1990. However, with less than impressive controls, a poor selection of characters, and no special moves to really speak of, it still wouldn’t put the genre on the map, and isn’t really anything I can recommend unless you are just dying to experience the history of fighting games. Pit-Fighter would get ported to just about every console of its generation, and a sequel was in the works, but would eventually get cancelled. If you’d like to play the game today it is available as part of the Midway Arcade Origins collection on PS3, Xbox 360, and Xbox One. Honestly, though, just stick to Mortal Kombat.
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