Here Are All of the Super Bowl Movie TV Spots

Welp, another Super Bowl has come and gone. Spoiler alert: The Brady Bunch lost to the Eagles! But enough about that. Let’s cut straight to the chase and talk about this year’s crop of special movie TV spots…

The first ad of the bunch, Red Sparrow, doesn’t offer us much that previous commercials for the film haven’t already. Basically, J-Law plays a woman who’s recruited/abducted into a top secret Russian spy organization. So if you saw the strange Black Widow flashback in Avengers: Age of Ultron, that’s pretty much what you’re being promised here, only on a much more R-rated level. Could be a solid thriller, but of all the new trailers tonight, this is easily the one which will have people chatting the least.

Does this movie looking fucking terrifying? Yeah, this movie looks fucking terrifying! Centered around characters who recluse themselves in the woods (at least I think that’s what’s going on) in order to avoid…something, the safety of their very lives depends on them not making any noise. This TV spot, unlike the teaser trailer, does have a little bit of dialogue at the beginning, but for the most part it plays with the movie’s central concept of not talking at all. This certainly looks like a unique horror film, and one that you all better have your damn cell phones turned off during or fucking else!

Running at 90 seconds, this is more of a mini-trailer than a TV spot, and delivers plenty of dino goods…maybe too many of them. I have a hunch that the “Holy shit, the creature killed that guy!” moment works as a great jump scare in the final movie, so why give it away in a Super Bowl spot when everyone’s going to see this freaking film anyway? Also, the creepy ass dinosaur in the child’s bedroom during the opening looks like a freaking Alien. Overall, an extremely exciting spot, but maybe one that would’ve been fine running 30 seconds instead of 90.

Easily the star of the evening. After months (and months) of wondering when Disney was going to finally start marketing one of their most major tentpoles of the year, they kicked things off in the best way they possibly good with a TV preview which offers plenty of mouth-watering money shots (space cars! Blade Runner taverns! Some fight between two characters on top of a moving vehicle!) without giving its title character any lines. Brilliant! Some might be cynical and say this is merely because Disney is worried of how audiences will take to a new actor filling in for Harrison Ford’s shoes, but teasing the iconic character rather than giving him an iconic one-liner was the way to go here, and should be more than enough to get people pumped about the full trailer debuting tomorrow morning during Good Morning America. Yes, that’s right, you have a reason to watch Good Morning America tomorrow.

It’s a skyscraper! On fire! And Dwayne Johnson is on it! And he’s saving his family! And he’s fighting bad guys! And he’s throwing an ax! And he’s falling off the building! It’s Die Rock Hard! A full trailer is arriving later tonight.

Filled from start to finish with “holy crap” action and suspense, there’s no reason to assume this won’t be another thrilling entry in a franchise which has maintained its quality for a surprisingly long time by now. People often call Tom Cruise insane, but when they say it about him regarding the Mission: Impossible movies, they mean it as a compliment.

THANOS!!!!!!!! Also, Star Lord and friends.

What’s your favorite TV spot of the evening? And which movie are you most excited about?